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The Watercooler
Are Marriges Really This Way?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 600436" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>There was never any physical abuse in my parents marriage and my father would have died before laying a hand on my mother or saying anything bad to her. She on the other hand was all for verbal and emotional violence to all of us. </p><p></p><p>Now in my first and only marriage he was extremely hands on and abusive but I gave as good as I got. I dont take well to getting hit. I hit back and since he was bigger than me I would use objects to level the playing field. One time he slapped me and tried to keep me from leaving my bedroom so I picked up my desk lamp and swung it at him. He ended up with 4 stitches. I got out of the room. </p><p></p><p>Now Tony and I are a bit different. He has only come close to hitting me one time and if he had decked me I would have deserved it. Instead he hit the wall just above my head. I have been the one who has been much more violent in this relationship. In that case we were having a horrible argument about who knows what but I was washing dishes and Tony was about to walk out the door in the middle of our argument and it made me mad. I picked up one of the glasses I was washing and I threw it, aiming at the wall behind him wanting it to hit there to make him turn around, and the glass which was half full of water hit him upside the head. It almost knocked him out. </p><p></p><p>He turned around stunned...stared at me....I was in utter shock and I started to run for the bedroom and he caught me in a corner and pinned me against the wall. I was trying my level best to sink to the floor into a ball because I was sure I was about to get the koi beat out of me and he nailed the wall above my head, turned around and walked out the door and didnt come home that night. Whats funny is I cant aim at all unless I am mad. Or obviously I cant aim. My objects just seem to have a mind of their own. </p><p></p><p>We have also done lots of the play fighting IC is talking about. I cant tell you all the wrestling, tickling, and that sort of stuff we used to do. Cant do it much anymore because I would get hurt. Now he just pets me. Up until Buck showed up here again Tony and I hadnt had much in the way of real down to the earth fights in years. Oh we had arguments...who doesnt? But I had learned to control myself to where I didnt need to hit walls, throw things or cut in probably 3 years or so. Sad all that went away. Tony and I have lost most of our intimacy too. I miss it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 600436, member: 1514"] There was never any physical abuse in my parents marriage and my father would have died before laying a hand on my mother or saying anything bad to her. She on the other hand was all for verbal and emotional violence to all of us. Now in my first and only marriage he was extremely hands on and abusive but I gave as good as I got. I dont take well to getting hit. I hit back and since he was bigger than me I would use objects to level the playing field. One time he slapped me and tried to keep me from leaving my bedroom so I picked up my desk lamp and swung it at him. He ended up with 4 stitches. I got out of the room. Now Tony and I are a bit different. He has only come close to hitting me one time and if he had decked me I would have deserved it. Instead he hit the wall just above my head. I have been the one who has been much more violent in this relationship. In that case we were having a horrible argument about who knows what but I was washing dishes and Tony was about to walk out the door in the middle of our argument and it made me mad. I picked up one of the glasses I was washing and I threw it, aiming at the wall behind him wanting it to hit there to make him turn around, and the glass which was half full of water hit him upside the head. It almost knocked him out. He turned around stunned...stared at me....I was in utter shock and I started to run for the bedroom and he caught me in a corner and pinned me against the wall. I was trying my level best to sink to the floor into a ball because I was sure I was about to get the koi beat out of me and he nailed the wall above my head, turned around and walked out the door and didnt come home that night. Whats funny is I cant aim at all unless I am mad. Or obviously I cant aim. My objects just seem to have a mind of their own. We have also done lots of the play fighting IC is talking about. I cant tell you all the wrestling, tickling, and that sort of stuff we used to do. Cant do it much anymore because I would get hurt. Now he just pets me. Up until Buck showed up here again Tony and I hadnt had much in the way of real down to the earth fights in years. Oh we had arguments...who doesnt? But I had learned to control myself to where I didnt need to hit walls, throw things or cut in probably 3 years or so. Sad all that went away. Tony and I have lost most of our intimacy too. I miss it. [/QUOTE]
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