Are there people who are not able to drive?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by A dad, Feb 16, 2016.

  1. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    My youngest is failing to take his driver license for his second time so let me explain we have theoretical exam and a practical exam if you fail any of them you have to wait about a month until you can do it again so if you failed the practical exam you have to do the theoretical exam again.
    So my son first tried when he had 18 and he failed the theoretical exam 5 times and the practical exam 6 times and after a year he has to take driver school again and we have to pay again for it.
    So we gave up and said he is not ready yet he will try when he is older but I was very very very mad that he failed and the problem is that I had to hide my anger. What consequence can I give him in that situation its not like he did not worked and tried to take the exam I mean in the end he did took the theoretical exam 6 times to get to the practical so he worked for it but I was still very mad and dissapointed especially since most of his age group I knew managed to take it.
    Now he tries again after a lot of convincing from me and his brother but he pays it from his own money and he took the theoretical exam and failed the practical meaning actual driving I have a feeling history will repeat itself.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yes, some people have trouble learning to drive, and some never do. Your son is young yet, though. He isn't done maturing. He may do better once he gets to his mid-20s. Meanwhile, does he ride a bike? I know people who had trouble learning to drive, and couldn't ride a bike either - and once they mastered riding the bike (in traffic and everything), learning to drive was much easier.
  3. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    What is considered mid 20's we can do not have this in my language. He is 24 is that mid 20's or is 25 the only mid 20's?
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Roughly, 23-27 would be 'mid'.
  5. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    He has 10 more tries anyway until he has to go to driver school again and pay for it again who knows he just might make it. At 24 I doubt he is still maturing so who knows maybe he will make it this time.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Driving requires several skills at once - really good eye-hand coordination, depth perception, vision, mental processing speed... Lots of things can be an issue in learning to drive.

    Does he ride a bicycle?
  7. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    Yes. When he first got a bike he did need to learn to ride it he knew immediately. A fun fact about that time I had no idea how to put the breaks so he rode the bike without breaks for years lets say a lot of shoes got destroyed so he could stop the bike until I bought him another one this time one with breaks.
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Then he should be able to learn to drive.
  9. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    Yeah he should I can not understand why he can. Okay I mean he can drive after but to be good enough to get his license he seems to fail.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Anxiety? Some of us do not perform well under pressure...
  11. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    Could be considering when driving you are always under pressure there may be some medications that can help him.
  12. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    Our Difficult Child had some difficulties riding a bike as a youngster. She could do it, but struggled. Wasn't always steady...would not be safe in traffic and absolutely needed to stay on the sidewalk.

    Later, our Difficult Child did driving lessons with my husband and crashed the car badly during a lesson. Both were traumatized. Our family car was pretty messed up.

    THEN, we paid for special private lessons with a regular training company and then another company that specialized in training for special needs people.

    That second set of special lessons cost a FORTUNE. But, I really wanted her to learn to drive.

    After both of the private company lessons were complete (both regular and special needs) we bought her a used car and after a quick session with my husband, she started to drive.

    She immediately totaled the car. She wasn't paying attention and drove into a large tree. The car was a goner and the city actually charged us for the tree.

    She no longer drives. She takes the bus.
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2016
  13. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You don't need to give him any consequences. He is already getting the natural consequences of not getting his license.
    Him having to retake the tests and having to pay for more lessons is enough.
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  14. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    Its not like I can give him its his money after all. I could not give him when it was my money because well lets be fair you can not give him consequence for something he was not able to do. Its artificial this things either come naturally or not at all.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My son is 18. He can ride a bike but is nowhere near ready to drive a car. My son has many learning issues and attention issues that make it not a good idea to learn to drive. Maybe when he is older things will change. He is, however, learning to use the bus system.
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son with mild autism does not want to drive. Its up to him. He gets around fine.
    I havent driven sinse my car accident and dont miss it yet. I use public transp and like it. Like your son I had a very hard time learning how to drive. I have spatial orientation problems and driving was difficult for me to learn how to do.
    I did learn and at 62 this was my first accident.
    Im not sure why a chiled would be disciplined for having trouble driving or choosing not to.
    Some people are not good drivers and shouldnt in my opinion.
  17. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    My youngest son, 16, has failed his road test 3 times. Until this post, I never connected the possibility that the fact that he is completely unable to ride a bicycle could be connected. He has very poor vision (though he is correctable to 20/20) and had vision therapy for 9 months in grades 4 and 5. I also can't ride a bike and failed the first time I took the road test. My H and the other 4 kids all ride bikes and all passed the first time.

    I would agree with the others who say that not being able to drive is its own natural consequence. I have never heard of anyone who actually takes the test deliberately failing it. My difficult child took driver's ed but showed no inclination to take the road test until his next brother (21 months younger) was signing up for his. The thought that his younger brother would have a license before him motivated D C and they took the test the same day.

    Oldest boy went to a sped HS where they provided driver's ed teachers who were specially trained. I had my son take driver's ed at the regular HS and didn't use that program. There was about a six month period of time when my son was actually the only student at his alternative HS of about 125 kids (maybe 1/3 or so who were old enough to drive - 16 for permit, 17 for license in my state) who had a license. The parents whose kids used the special teachers were very pleased with the outcome. My son, at 25, is an excellent driver - he's gone to Canada and has even done delivery driving.

    If he doesn't pass, look for good public transit. I work in NYC and many of my co-workers, even my boss, don't even drive.
  18. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Miss KT went through a driver's training course (both classroom and behind the wheel) at 16. I insisted she take the class, and we paid for it, because public transportation is horrible here. She failed the written test three times (you get three chances) and I had her pay for the next set of three. I did not think she was ready for the driving test, but she did, and I let her take it expecting she would fail. She didn't.

    If she could easily have gotten from Point A to Point B on public transportation, I probably would not have sent her to driver's training when I did. But here in the boonies, you drive, Mom drives you, or you walk.

    It could be that your son is not ready to drive. If he's failing the tests, it's on him, not on you. Buy him a bus pass and call it good.
  19. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    My mother didn't learn to drive until she was around 40 years old. She had a rough time. She never learned to ride a bicycle, but that was a function of the times she grew up in (WWII).

    It took her a long time to learn to drive, and she is still a nervous driver. She's in her 80s now, doesn't drive at night, has never driven on the hwy, and sticks close to home. That said, she is a reasonably good driver within her self-imposed restrictions.

    I learned at 15 when I got my learners' permit. Took driver's ed in school. My father and a cousin by marriage who was a Chicago cop taught me to drive.

    I consider myself to be a good driver though do not like driving after dark on unlit roads and have a problem with glare off of wet roads in traffic.