It's crazy how we start to question our parenting skills....but we do. I have not posted here in a long time, my son came home from jail in June. He served 10 months for a VOP. His history is domestic violence against his girlfriend ..and she against him..I notice a change in his behavior, he is able to listen to his dad and I and respond calmly without flying off the handle. He has not been great though since coming home...has already received a summons for court (which violates his probation and he could very well land back in jail for 5-10 years) for fighting a guy his girlfriend was seeing while he was away. He has not sought out anger management counseling which was court ordered..and has done numerous other find things. Got his truck stuck out in the woods last night. We had to pull him out..truck was dead..flooded with water...he's tried to sneak his girlfriend in our house who is forbidden from being there yes,the same girlfriend that he has charges of violence against. They are not supposed to be together. Here is my question ...and as I'm writing it I already realize how stupid I sound because I know the answer! Would a professional counselor tell us we need to give him a chance and let the girlfriend at our house? I know anyone I talk to about that ,who's never been in our shoes,would be quick to say.."absolutely not,do not let her at your house.".....and that has been our thinking all along...but now I am questioning that..should we let him try to prove himself with her by allowing her at our house? My head says no, we don't owe him anything. It has been hell since he's been home, I feel guilty saying this but almost think it will be a relief for us if he goes back to jail. Thanks for letting me vent here...it truly is the only place I can go where I feel it's not my fault,I'm not a horrible parent..and I get genuine advice from people who have been in my shoes. I am seriously on the verge of losing it...couldn't even attend my sons high school orientation in peace this morning between the calls I was getting from my son and trying to get his car out of impoundment (they towed it last night after he left it on the side of the road since it wouldn't start) Ughhhhhh, I am so sick of this!