Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Are we completely masochistic or just selfish?long
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 58170" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>It looks like difficult child is getting close to moving out (he's 17) and you like the concept of kids and family, so why not?</p><p>You're in the throes of it now, so you have experience enough to know that another child would completely fill your time and take over your life.</p><p>That's a good thing and a bad thing, depending upon your perspective!</p><p>Of COURSE your s-i-l and others will disagree with-you. But it's not up to them. It's between you and your husband.</p><p></p><p>In re: to shopping, I think it's a great idea because the more things you can weed out the better, especially since so much is left up to chance regardless of the planning that goes into adoption. (In fact, in vitro "designer babies" are bound to surprise their parents, too, by virtue of the fact that everyone is an individual.)</p><p></p><p>I also think it's more honest to be upfront with-the adoption service. There are way too many people who wear rose colored glasses, and then when a child arrives who is way out of their league, their lives are torn apart. </p><p></p><p>I cannot handle huge handicaps, either. I see people in the mall pushing wheelchairs with-kids' heads strapped to the back of the chair just so they can sit up and I think, Wow, that puts things into perspective with-my difficult child. He's cute, he's athletic, he's funny. (Sometimes. :grin:) He's only one grade level behind. We can travel with-him, he eats an assortment of exotic foods, he's good with-electronic equipment. I think of all the positives.</p><p></p><p>We "shopped" for our difficult child. We specifically asked for a mixed-race newborn boy. ("Newborn" was the operative word... we know way too many people who have adopted older kids out of foster care or Russian and Romanian orphanages and the kids were really damaged.) The only bad part with-an open adoption is that mothers can change their minds. We went through two who did, but luckily, both instances occurred when they went into labor and we never actually met either of the babies. </p><p></p><p>The long and the short of it is, the more you know your own mind and your own skill and experience level, the better chance your adopted child has for a successful life. </p><p>In fact, that's true for bio kids, too. :wink:</p><p></p><p>What does your difficult child think of a potential sibling?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 58170, member: 3419"] It looks like difficult child is getting close to moving out (he's 17) and you like the concept of kids and family, so why not? You're in the throes of it now, so you have experience enough to know that another child would completely fill your time and take over your life. That's a good thing and a bad thing, depending upon your perspective! Of COURSE your s-i-l and others will disagree with-you. But it's not up to them. It's between you and your husband. In re: to shopping, I think it's a great idea because the more things you can weed out the better, especially since so much is left up to chance regardless of the planning that goes into adoption. (In fact, in vitro "designer babies" are bound to surprise their parents, too, by virtue of the fact that everyone is an individual.) I also think it's more honest to be upfront with-the adoption service. There are way too many people who wear rose colored glasses, and then when a child arrives who is way out of their league, their lives are torn apart. I cannot handle huge handicaps, either. I see people in the mall pushing wheelchairs with-kids' heads strapped to the back of the chair just so they can sit up and I think, Wow, that puts things into perspective with-my difficult child. He's cute, he's athletic, he's funny. (Sometimes. [img]:grin:[/img]) He's only one grade level behind. We can travel with-him, he eats an assortment of exotic foods, he's good with-electronic equipment. I think of all the positives. We "shopped" for our difficult child. We specifically asked for a mixed-race newborn boy. ("Newborn" was the operative word... we know way too many people who have adopted older kids out of foster care or Russian and Romanian orphanages and the kids were really damaged.) The only bad part with-an open adoption is that mothers can change their minds. We went through two who did, but luckily, both instances occurred when they went into labor and we never actually met either of the babies. The long and the short of it is, the more you know your own mind and your own skill and experience level, the better chance your adopted child has for a successful life. In fact, that's true for bio kids, too. [img]:wink:[/img] What does your difficult child think of a potential sibling? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Are we completely masochistic or just selfish?long
Top