Are y'all ready for this news?!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Wakegirl, Mar 14, 2013.

  1. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl New Member

    I've been extremely busy at work, and have had family in town, so I haven't had a chance to update lately. I have checked in a few times, and stay informed with everyone's story on here. Please know each and every one of you are in my thoughts and prayers...

    My difficult child is home right now. He's been here since Tuesday night. How did we get to this point? Well, he had court last Wedbesday. As of that Tuesday, he had not done one thing his prosecutor told him to do, so naturally, he started to panic. I started receiving texts from him, begging and pleading for me to give him one last chance to prove himself...and to let him come home. He stated he need a place to start his new path. I stood my ground and told him the only thing I could offer him was a ride to a treatment center. I guess he dwelled on that for a bit, and the text came through...telling me that if that was the only way I was going to believe that he is ready to change, then lets go. So, I immediately got on the phone with the treatment center, and made plans to take him Wednesday after court. The lady I spoke to even volunteered to fax me a letter to give to his prosecutor that stated that plans were in the making for difficult child to be admitted on such and such date. I went to bed that night with a small sense of relief. After all, I know to not get my hopes up with difficult child's cries for help. And rightfully so, because I received a text the following morning (the morning of court) and difficult child had a change of heart. After taking to his father, and a childhood friend, he had decided to enlist in the National Guard. I had mixed emotions about that. I felt he first needed treatment to help fix any underlying issues that led him to abuse drugs. But, he's 20, and I can't force him to do anything. The prosecutor was happy to hear of his plans, and the case was dismissed. So, off we go...

    I went home that afternoon and typed up a contract because I knew the call would come asking if he could come home. And it did. The contract is very tight, and full of matter of facts. There's no room for mistakes. Or relapses. Or another second chance (actually, we're way past second chances;). He knows that if he simply breathes wrong (insert sarcasm), he's out on the street.

    He's completed the first 2 steps with the National Guard. The 2nd step was a bit challenging. He had past the test (may I brag and say he made the highest score out of everybody there that day:) and then it was time for the background check. While they looked past his DUI, it was the possession charge that was going to hurt him, per his recruiter. When difficult child received that news, he was immediately on the phone with the court in the town he was arrested (small town...2 red lights). The clerk listened to his story about him trying to get into the military in an effort to get his life back on track, and she said ok, let me call you back in 10 minutes. When she called back, she said the judge has agreed to expunge his case if he'll send in 50.00 and a letter stating why the judge should do this for him. He wrote up the letter, and I overnighted it and the money that day. His recruiter was very impressed with his efforts, and his enlistment process shall continue. He goes back next week for the 3rd step. His recruiter states that if all goes smoothly, he should be shipped off to basic training in a little over a month.

    I have so many different emotions right now. I'm aware anything can happen in the next month, so it's safe to say that I'm walking on eggshells. I'm a combination of happy, relieved, scared, worried, nervous, but most important, I'm optimistic. I know he can do this. And I know that if anybody is going to make an honest man out of him, the military certainly has what it will take!

    Off to bed, albeit with one eye open. Lol ;)
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    WELL, my my my my.....
    I sure hope it goes well and he gets in. Were you surprised they dropped things with just a plan?

    Hope he doesn't let you down!
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm a little cynical (but that's my nature so don't let it get you down). However, my friend's son tried to sign up for the military and because he had taken Ritalin and Prozac within the past three years they wouldn't let him join, stating he had to be medication free for three years.
    If he does get in, I'm not sure what will happen. HOpefully he will make it and do a turnaround. I'm wishing you lots and lots of luck!
  4. Karenvm

    Karenvm Member

    Wow! I think this sounds good! I know about the "walking on eggshells" part all too well, but we HAVE to try to optimistic, right?
    I hope things work out, and he continues down this path!

  5. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm thinking he's really serious. He made those calls and is doing everything right. I'm rooting for him. I don't think the walking on eggshells stops, I'm thinking maybe when they're married? Good Luck to your difficult child, those high scores should give him the confidence to know he can absolutely do this!
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Reading your post I sat shaking my head. How to heck can some of our difficult children be SO bright, SO creative, SO decisive, SO able to react quickly and appropriately..............and THEN.............still be difficult child's. Your son could be a Donald Trump Apprentice IF he decided to give it a shot. Here's hoping it goes well. I'm rooting for him AND for you. DDD
  7. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl New Member

    Thank you! Yes, I was sort of surprised how the court handled things. But, it was a domestic violence charge I had against him, and that was like our 4th appearance. I guess because things have been somewhat better, as far as his temper getting extremely out of control like the night that I had him arrested, they saw no reason to continue on. His prosecutor did tell him that if he is back in that courtroom due to domestic violence, he can pull this case and give him 6 months in jail for it, plus 6 months for any new charge. I'm glad he informed him of that!
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    In other words, getting it to this point in the court system DOES provide some level of deterrent... at least as much as a sentence for this charge would have provided, maybe more. Which is a good thing.
  9. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Sounds odd? I can't say for sure but I work with a group of recruiters and due to the draw down and budget cuts fewer and fewer people are getting in. Right now they are actually putting people out before they retire because we have too many Soldiers. They are also cutting down on schools and training because no matter what branch you are in you usually go through an Active Duty school. Since the employees of the schools are furloughed starting in mid April things are getting dicey. Granted the National Guard is owned by the State and not the Federal government so they are slightly different but???

    I would honestly tell him if the National Guard falls through its Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or the streets.
  10. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl New Member

    Dstc, I understand what you're saying, but if that's the case, I'll be very disappointed as to how they have led him on. I've read the texts between him and his recruiter, and it sounds very promising. Who knows? I'm hanging on to hope. Lots of hope.
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Wakegirl, don't forget that recruiters are highly trained salespeople who earn points for each warm body they push through the mill.

    husband was a drill sergeant for two years. He didn't sign up for another tour as such because he couldn't handle the difficult children. He always said he was trying to build the very best soldiers he could, not run a federally funded reform school.

    Immaturity is one thing and some ADHD folks, husband included, do very well in the military because of the structure, but entitled brats don't usually do well. It doesn't look good on a DS's record when his recruits wash out due to behavioral problems that the military is not there to fix.

    I hope it works out for him and this is just in my opinion, but it is what it is.
  12. Wakegirl

    Wakegirl New Member

    I hope it works for my son, too. I don't look at the military as a reform school. I look at it as a way that my son can learn the fundamentals of being a real man, especially since his father (male role model) has been void in his life for the most part. All the while, doing something that I know will make him feel good about himself... protecting our country. He's excited about the opportunity, and I pray that he makes it through.