Are you kidding me?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Tiapet, Feb 22, 2013.

  1. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    So I have a voicemail left as text message from yesterday that I just see this morning from the guidance counselor for mr busy. He says, he wondered if I remembered him as we haven't talked since I enrolled the "kids" 2 years ago in the school and that he'd like to talk to me about my son first thing in the morning. I called him. Remember now his words above....he has not spoken to me since 2 years ago August!

    The call was in regards to "several teachers" referral of my son's hygiene. Non specific mind you too. If you've read my most recent thread then you know that just this past Friday his case manager of SPED handed him 2 things of deodorant. Now we're at a week later. What I can tell you of my son is this....he is forced to take a shower every other day (he may miss a day once in a while like a week here or there) but this is something we do mandatorily. He puts on fresh clothes everyday. What he DOESN'T do is change the zippered sweatshirt he wears everyday as a jacket but also wears ALL day long! IT STINKS! I have tried desperately to get him to do so. He has 4-5 total sweatshirts so he could do so but always says "he doesn't or can't find" which is bull. I try to get that sweatshirt washed over the weekend every week but during week it's impossible to get it away from him long enough to wash and dry so he has for the next morning and mornings are cold. He won't wear anything else either. It's an anxiety/comfort thing with him. Other then that, his breath smells like poop! He's always had bad breath and has been to dentist/ENT and dr about it. It's about brushing teeth and scraping tongue consistently and well....he's a difficult child and that's just not happening!

    So I explain not only the above to the guidance counselor but also ask him if he's even aware that difficult child has a worker who sees him in school as well as home, if he's aware of the issues we are dealing with over all (the failing classes, the bullying, the teachers, etc). The fact that we are struggling just to get him TO school daily (he's been late 13 times this year but I GET him there!) as he wants nothing to do with school, that one in particular. That this is only a tiny portion of what we are trying to deal with with him and I wish it were the ONLY thing. That we are certainly well aware of it and dealing with it and I would have believed the teachers to ALL be aware of this too.

    Basically I think I gave off the vibe as in "why are you calling me for something so trivial" as this as his in school isn't he?? As a matter of fact, some of the classes he WAS failing he is now brought grades up to a D so it's just 2 classes he is failing now and they are teachers we are having problems with (1 is that teacher who sent me in appropriate request). I mean do they not realize that kids are going to pick on him for it anyway? We are and it bothers us, especially knowing he has bullying issues we're trying to address. Do they REALLY think we are blind and NOT doing anything about it and just are like....oh no...you don't have to take a shower...go around stinking.....really???

    And for him to not give names of teachers? Gee, teachers could have easily emailed me personally as well right? Oh and even the SPED case manager who speaks to me often and emails me directly all the time....why didn't SHE speak to me before demeaning my son (suppose he DID have a medical issue)?

    I'm telling you this school ....STINKS! Not just my son!
     
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs:

    Oh, how I understand... Jett now takes showers without being asked, but it's been a long road to get him there... He does NOT remember deodorant unless reminded. During recent cleaning of his room he now has 6 open sticks of the stuff. And he has especially strong natural odor which does not help. Several kids told him he smelled bad repeatedly and he would come home upset... And we'd ask about showering... Yeah. Now I will randomly ask if he's wearing deodorant, and sometimes make sure he knows I don't smell anything, I am just asking. And his room - OMG - makes the boys' locker room smell heavenly! When he cleans it once a week it is fine. It's his DIRTY CLOTHES!!!
     
  3. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm thankful, for the most part, he doesn't "normally" keep his dirty clothes in there anymore. Once in a while there is but most often they are left in the common bathroom (he shares with the girls). Ms queen however, peeeeewww! HER room stinks! She has dirty clothes mixed with clean clothes on her floor all the time. She's my hoarder so there is everything all over the floor and it's a disgusting disaster in there. Only she knows what's clean and what isn't, sometimes I think. She will take her clothes up and dump them. Refuses to use the dresser or closet she has.

    I just get really worried and I know it's the PTSD in me from previous histories of CPS calls of years past....like when oldest difficult child was very young and acting out (all unfounded completely and always triggered by ill meaning school or agency people-proven out). I trust no one in that respect. So when anyone, especially in school starts questioning anything I start to circle the wagons that I have (all workers involved and "proving" all that I AM doing) because that's the only way it can ever be headed off at the pass before a call is made and once one IS made....well there is all the proof to get them to go away!

    I'm just sooooo sick of being put into this mode by people who don't pay attention to anything that SHOULD already be well aware of what is going on. Know what I mean??
     
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    I have to put the deodorant with Storm's clothing in the morning so she'll remember to use it. Otherwise? She'll forget. Yes, I'm still picking out her clothes.

    Could you Febreez his hoodie every night when his takes it off? Would that help any? Provided you could get it away from him long enough to do that much.
     
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