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General Parenting
Are you ticklish? And what should the response be?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 396071" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>With friend's ex, he would be fairly careful (for an abuser). He would always take the attitude of "She is enjoying it, she's laughing." But he would plan it (with hindsight my friend realised) and he really would keep on going and not stop. He did use power and control a great deal. He was physically abusive to his wife - she described him as "using his fists for foreplay". </p><p></p><p>With my friend - we were mates. He and I had been very good friends for several years, but also he was good friends with husband. We actually all shared a house the year before we married, friend was best man. He was incredibly ticklish. With hindsight, I believe he is also mildly Aspie - sky-high IQ, intensely honest, socially naive but warm, genuine and a thoroughly nice guy. But very moral and upright, to a fault. ind you, that also described husband - although husband is not so socially naive as our friend. The tickling across the room - he was incredibly suggestible. Incidentally, we used to do the same ting to easy child 2/difficult child 2. If you have someone who is ticklish and wants to learn to desensitise, you could try the tickle across the room trick, but ten talk her through resisting it. "See - I am not actually touching you. Use your hand to touch yourself where you think I am tickling you - feel yourself touching and remind yourself, a person cannot tickle themselves. Concentrate on your own touch and not my imagined touch."</p><p></p><p>I haven't seen our ticklish friend for years but we're still in touch. I'll have to email his wife and ask if he is still ticklish, if she can tickle him across the room like I used to. I remember showing her my trick - she loved it! They started going out together a few years before husband & I married. Despite being fairly serious in a lot of ways, my friend and his wife do still have fun together, Im sure.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter's best defence is to learn to desensitise her feet, at least. Another way to go is to learn extreme self-control and learn to not move or react. Try to look bored, or smug. Not easy for a teen girl because feet really are sensitive. But actually, the more you pull away and react (by curling up into a ball) the worse the tickle feels. If you hold still and try to ignore it, you can actually tolerate more. If you can tolerate it enough, you can pretend it doesn't tickle for long enough for the attacker to move on to another target.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 396071, member: 1991"] With friend's ex, he would be fairly careful (for an abuser). He would always take the attitude of "She is enjoying it, she's laughing." But he would plan it (with hindsight my friend realised) and he really would keep on going and not stop. He did use power and control a great deal. He was physically abusive to his wife - she described him as "using his fists for foreplay". With my friend - we were mates. He and I had been very good friends for several years, but also he was good friends with husband. We actually all shared a house the year before we married, friend was best man. He was incredibly ticklish. With hindsight, I believe he is also mildly Aspie - sky-high IQ, intensely honest, socially naive but warm, genuine and a thoroughly nice guy. But very moral and upright, to a fault. ind you, that also described husband - although husband is not so socially naive as our friend. The tickling across the room - he was incredibly suggestible. Incidentally, we used to do the same ting to easy child 2/difficult child 2. If you have someone who is ticklish and wants to learn to desensitise, you could try the tickle across the room trick, but ten talk her through resisting it. "See - I am not actually touching you. Use your hand to touch yourself where you think I am tickling you - feel yourself touching and remind yourself, a person cannot tickle themselves. Concentrate on your own touch and not my imagined touch." I haven't seen our ticklish friend for years but we're still in touch. I'll have to email his wife and ask if he is still ticklish, if she can tickle him across the room like I used to. I remember showing her my trick - she loved it! They started going out together a few years before husband & I married. Despite being fairly serious in a lot of ways, my friend and his wife do still have fun together, Im sure. Your daughter's best defence is to learn to desensitise her feet, at least. Another way to go is to learn extreme self-control and learn to not move or react. Try to look bored, or smug. Not easy for a teen girl because feet really are sensitive. But actually, the more you pull away and react (by curling up into a ball) the worse the tickle feels. If you hold still and try to ignore it, you can actually tolerate more. If you can tolerate it enough, you can pretend it doesn't tickle for long enough for the attacker to move on to another target. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Are you ticklish? And what should the response be?
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