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Are you ticklish? And what should the response be?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 399875" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Not everyone is able to desensitize. I have an uncle who is thought to be the "greatest guy" and a real "stand up" guy - largely because he paid his ex child support for over a year after his daughter moved in with him. When I was little he would tickle me abusively. BAD. My mother finally, after hearing me crying over it from a nightmare, told him (and my father, gma and aunt) that if he ever tickled me again he would not see me again. Period. I had been asking for over a year for him to not tickle me, for my mom and/or dad to make him leave me alone. This is the same uncle who molested me when I was 16 (the age he got custody of his daughter because her mother's cancer was in her brain and causing scary dangerous behavior). </p><p> </p><p>I do not allow tickling for more than just a few seconds. It IS possible to tickle yourself. I don't care what anyone says - I can do it and always could. I worked with ideas like Marg's for years and NEVER was able to even minimize my sensitivity. These things just don't work for everyone. </p><p> </p><p>There have been some cases where tickling was ruled child abuse - in one they watched a family home movie with-o the sound and the child looked like he was being hideously tortured. The entire family would tickle him and though he hated it, and behaved like an abused child, no one in the family "got it" until a social worker forced them to see it and stop. </p><p> </p><p>Tickling others is more about power and control than fun. in my opinion more than just a very few minutes is abuse. I have yet to meet anyone who really likes it, but I am sure there are some people out there.</p><p> </p><p>This is something to talk to your kids about - that this can be a type of "bad touch" even if it doesn't go into the "bikini top and bottom" areas that some docs use to explain where bad touches are. It is important to let people know that it is absolutely OK to tell others that they cannot tickle you, and that if people tickle you after that they need to tell you and other adults, and KEEP telling until it stops. </p><p> </p><p>As for the cousin, I don't know why he does it. One of my friends had an older brother who tickled her, me anyone female he could and wouldn't stop. From his early teens he did this. He raped several girls he knew in high school and some college aged girls, though he never went to college. I can see how the behaviors (abusive tickling and rape) are part of the same pathology, and I can see how a person who didn't "get" social rules might tickle when it is not okay with the ticklee. I can see how someone socially inept could get confused. I am NOT saying he is a rapist in the making, but you NEED to trust your instincts. You have them because they protect you and even more your kids. Trust them - even if you don't know why.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 399875, member: 1233"] Not everyone is able to desensitize. I have an uncle who is thought to be the "greatest guy" and a real "stand up" guy - largely because he paid his ex child support for over a year after his daughter moved in with him. When I was little he would tickle me abusively. BAD. My mother finally, after hearing me crying over it from a nightmare, told him (and my father, gma and aunt) that if he ever tickled me again he would not see me again. Period. I had been asking for over a year for him to not tickle me, for my mom and/or dad to make him leave me alone. This is the same uncle who molested me when I was 16 (the age he got custody of his daughter because her mother's cancer was in her brain and causing scary dangerous behavior). I do not allow tickling for more than just a few seconds. It IS possible to tickle yourself. I don't care what anyone says - I can do it and always could. I worked with ideas like Marg's for years and NEVER was able to even minimize my sensitivity. These things just don't work for everyone. There have been some cases where tickling was ruled child abuse - in one they watched a family home movie with-o the sound and the child looked like he was being hideously tortured. The entire family would tickle him and though he hated it, and behaved like an abused child, no one in the family "got it" until a social worker forced them to see it and stop. Tickling others is more about power and control than fun. in my opinion more than just a very few minutes is abuse. I have yet to meet anyone who really likes it, but I am sure there are some people out there. This is something to talk to your kids about - that this can be a type of "bad touch" even if it doesn't go into the "bikini top and bottom" areas that some docs use to explain where bad touches are. It is important to let people know that it is absolutely OK to tell others that they cannot tickle you, and that if people tickle you after that they need to tell you and other adults, and KEEP telling until it stops. As for the cousin, I don't know why he does it. One of my friends had an older brother who tickled her, me anyone female he could and wouldn't stop. From his early teens he did this. He raped several girls he knew in high school and some college aged girls, though he never went to college. I can see how the behaviors (abusive tickling and rape) are part of the same pathology, and I can see how a person who didn't "get" social rules might tickle when it is not okay with the ticklee. I can see how someone socially inept could get confused. I am NOT saying he is a rapist in the making, but you NEED to trust your instincts. You have them because they protect you and even more your kids. Trust them - even if you don't know why. [/QUOTE]
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Are you ticklish? And what should the response be?
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