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Are you ticklish? And what should the response be?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 400007" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>While can't condone bullying back (because it often just keeps the bully away from you - it doesn't stop the bad behaviour, just drives it elsewhere and almost endorses it) I do understand that sometimes you feel there is no other alternative.</p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 used to get bullied every day on the boat to and from the island. Think of it as like the school bus, only the kids can get up and move around. One group of boys used to torment easy child 2/difficult child 2 a lot, because she was small and cute, looked a lot younger than her years. Some girls began to join in the 'fun' so easy child 2/difficult child 2 cultivated the belief that she was a witch and would put a curse on anyone who annoyed her. She became very accomplished at projecting an air of quiet menace, plus she began publicly reading books of spells. I remember finding these books and talking to her about them, explaining the psychology behind them ("It's not magic, kiddo, there are sound reasons for it to 'sell' to kids like you") and eventually she explained what she was up to. I had 'friends' from various churches in town 'warning' me about my wayward daughter dabbling in the occult. But as it turned out, she wasn't dabbling at all. Just pretending to. It did work - the worst of the bullies became so scared of her that he wouldn't come near her. Before that, this kid would be shouting out to her and difficult child 1, "Aren't you the ones with the retard little brother?"</p><p></p><p>One memorable day, the bully was approaching easy child 2/difficult child 2 who made it clear, by her body language, that all she wanted to do was read her book in peace. She kept her head down on her book and continued to turn pages calmly.</p><p>"Will you go out with my friend?" asked the bully.</p><p>"No". Page turned.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because he's a [expletive referring to a part of male anatomy]."</p><p>"Oh. Well, would you go out with me?"</p><p>"No." Another page turned. Still not looking up.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>""Because you're a [expletive referring to a part of male anatomy]."</p><p>She never raised her voice, her eyes or a finger. But the menace was there and the guy backed right off.</p><p></p><p>All this happened very publicly. At about that time she sent her friend to pass the word - do not annoy easy child 2/difficult child 2, she is making a voodoo doll of you and collected a hair as you leant over her book.</p><p></p><p>The down side of this, is that the "nice girls" from church were warned off friendship with easy child 2/difficult child 2 for fear she could corrupt them. Now they're all adults, they often talk when they meet, but it was a problem for us for a while, with well-meaning people trying to teach us how to parent our kids. I do get cranky with people who haven't a clue!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 400007, member: 1991"] While can't condone bullying back (because it often just keeps the bully away from you - it doesn't stop the bad behaviour, just drives it elsewhere and almost endorses it) I do understand that sometimes you feel there is no other alternative. easy child 2/difficult child 2 used to get bullied every day on the boat to and from the island. Think of it as like the school bus, only the kids can get up and move around. One group of boys used to torment easy child 2/difficult child 2 a lot, because she was small and cute, looked a lot younger than her years. Some girls began to join in the 'fun' so easy child 2/difficult child 2 cultivated the belief that she was a witch and would put a curse on anyone who annoyed her. She became very accomplished at projecting an air of quiet menace, plus she began publicly reading books of spells. I remember finding these books and talking to her about them, explaining the psychology behind them ("It's not magic, kiddo, there are sound reasons for it to 'sell' to kids like you") and eventually she explained what she was up to. I had 'friends' from various churches in town 'warning' me about my wayward daughter dabbling in the occult. But as it turned out, she wasn't dabbling at all. Just pretending to. It did work - the worst of the bullies became so scared of her that he wouldn't come near her. Before that, this kid would be shouting out to her and difficult child 1, "Aren't you the ones with the retard little brother?" One memorable day, the bully was approaching easy child 2/difficult child 2 who made it clear, by her body language, that all she wanted to do was read her book in peace. She kept her head down on her book and continued to turn pages calmly. "Will you go out with my friend?" asked the bully. "No". Page turned. "Why not?" "Because he's a [expletive referring to a part of male anatomy]." "Oh. Well, would you go out with me?" "No." Another page turned. Still not looking up. "Why not?" ""Because you're a [expletive referring to a part of male anatomy]." She never raised her voice, her eyes or a finger. But the menace was there and the guy backed right off. All this happened very publicly. At about that time she sent her friend to pass the word - do not annoy easy child 2/difficult child 2, she is making a voodoo doll of you and collected a hair as you leant over her book. The down side of this, is that the "nice girls" from church were warned off friendship with easy child 2/difficult child 2 for fear she could corrupt them. Now they're all adults, they often talk when they meet, but it was a problem for us for a while, with well-meaning people trying to teach us how to parent our kids. I do get cranky with people who haven't a clue! Marg [/QUOTE]
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