Argh! difficult child and food

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Apr 28, 2013.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If you've been here awhile you know my difficult child can get quite angry over food. Since the time he has been little it has been bad. On psychiatrist's and therapist's advice we decided not to fight the food battle because of his violent reactions.

    He still gets so angry over food. We had just bought the hotdogs he likes on Thursday so when I went to the store this morning I didn't buy any (we were having brats). Later today we were on our way to get gas for the grill and difficult child wanted to ride along. He let me know he didn't have any hotdogs. husband said he could get some at the convenience store but that they probably didn't have the kind he liked. He started getting angrier and angrier and when husband said something to difficult child, difficult child screamed that he wasn't talking to him.

    husband then said that since he was screaming and overreacting that he wasn't going to get him the treat he had been planning on. We stop get the gas, get back in the car and difficult child says he is refusing to buckle (he knows this is a huge no at our house). I pulled back in to wait him out and he said fine we could just wait then. I decided to drive telling husband (so that difficult child could hear) that any money we got for a ticket would be deducted from any birthday and, if need be, Christmas gifts. He decided to buckle.

    We got home, he slammed the car door and then the house door. husband and I came in the house and as I am going out to hook up the gas to the grill he tries to trip me which is something he hadn't done in a long time. I told him if that happened again or I had fallen he would no longer be staying at our house.

    After that we basically ignored him. He kept getting angrier and angrier and when husband went up to read, difficult child threw over a chair. After that he started to block easy child/difficult child from coming down the stairs. I told him to knock it off or I would call the police. He then said fine then he wouldn't have to live here. I responded with, you can leave any time you want, feel free to pack a bag and go.

    He decided he would (now you have to know difficult child to know he would not be gone long-he is afraid to be out on his own-much different than when he was younger). I said good-bye and he left with a bag. I told easy child/difficult child I bet he would be back before I was done grilling (not that he would eat any of it). Sure enough he came back and I responded with, "you're back?" to which he responded he just needed to get out to clear his head.

    He picked up the chair and apologized to both husband and easy child/difficult child (even though he hadn't done anything to her). No apology to me-then he tried to have a conversation with me to which I responded I wasn't going to be conversing with him when he couldn't even apologize. husband also had told him he owed me a big apology.

    About 3 minutes later I see him writing in a notebook. He rips out the page, folds it up, and hands it to me. This is what it said.

    "Dear Mom,
    i AM sorry fror being mene to you I Hope you can FoRGive Me P.S. I AM sorry Love difficult child"

    I left in the misspellings and capitalization errors.

    I thanked him and then he said with a smile, "If you can't say it, write it."

    I am proud that he was able to work things out. on the other hand, I hate that he still has such strong reactions over food.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    What a sensitive story. Learning that our difficult children can only do their best is a huge lesson. Hugs DDD
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Come to think of it, sigh, if he ONLY eats hot dogs and one brand of hot dogs why not stock them up in the freezer? I am sure there is a reason but instead of wondering I thought I'd ask. My guess is that he either would gorge on them or he would change his preference........but........still wondering. DDD
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh he will eat other things, none of which is good for him (except for the occasional piece of fruit). The problem is he gorges on the food that he likes when we have it in the house. For example, this morning he ate breakfast (3 hotdogs-didn't realize they were the last 3). He knew I was making a big breakfast in about an hour so I had told him to have a little snack-thus the hotdogs. Then when I made the big breakfast which he had been begging for (eggs, potatoes, and bacon) he ate so much that he vomited-which sadly isn't unusual. He obsesses over food!
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yikes, Sharon, I should have known that was a darn good reason you didn't stock up on hot dogs. It must be very frustrating for all of you. Hugs. DDD
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    The apology was sweet.

    That was a very creative way of getting him to buckle up. I'll have to remember that one.
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I think that it was sweet that he wrote out his apology to you.