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Substance Abuse
Arghhh.... sleepless nights etc.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 627668" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>It still may be ALL the drug use. You won't know if and until he gets clean and then he can be evaluated for other mental illnesses. If you read about drug addiction, the pathology is there and mirrors other behaviors. Addiction is a primary diagnosis and has to be treated if it is to be dealt with. </p><p></p><p>You just won't know, and you know what, you really don't have to know the root cause right now. You just have to deal with the behavior. We drive ourselves crazy trying to "master" and "understand" addiction. I have read so many books and talked to many mental health professionals about it. That's okay, but the disease always surprises me, shocks me and sends another zinger out of left field. </p><p></p><p>It's the disease. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I so identify with that statement. Of course we will change over time---we who are in the first line of fire----if we don't we can't survive.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to be hard-hearted either. My MO is a very soft heart and sometimes I think I'm just cold and hard now. And that is never who I want to be.</p><p></p><p>But heck, TAS, we have to have some self-protective feelings! This is all so awful, and we get smacked down and have to pick ourselves up over and over again. Slowly, very slowly for some like me, we start to get it. </p><p></p><p>We start to accept that what we see is what is. No more than that. No less than that. The trail of destruction they leave behind is the reality, at least for today.</p><p></p><p>We have to make plans for how we are going to deal with it, because if we don't, we are like one of those Saturday night boxing matches, with the hits just coming and coming from one side and then another, and our heads are bouncing back and forth, with no prep and no defense. </p><p></p><p>I used to live like that but no more. Today, I am doing the only thing I can do, and that is to decide what I will do. I will make mistakes and I can change my mind, but today I have an approach to all of this. </p><p></p><p>And for me, it's working pretty well, because I have a lot of happiness and peace today. </p><p></p><p>That's the goal. Not to stop my precious difficult child from taking this path. Tried that; doesn't work. My goals today are about me, not him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 627668, member: 17542"] It still may be ALL the drug use. You won't know if and until he gets clean and then he can be evaluated for other mental illnesses. If you read about drug addiction, the pathology is there and mirrors other behaviors. Addiction is a primary diagnosis and has to be treated if it is to be dealt with. You just won't know, and you know what, you really don't have to know the root cause right now. You just have to deal with the behavior. We drive ourselves crazy trying to "master" and "understand" addiction. I have read so many books and talked to many mental health professionals about it. That's okay, but the disease always surprises me, shocks me and sends another zinger out of left field. It's the disease. I so identify with that statement. Of course we will change over time---we who are in the first line of fire----if we don't we can't survive. I don't want to be hard-hearted either. My MO is a very soft heart and sometimes I think I'm just cold and hard now. And that is never who I want to be. But heck, TAS, we have to have some self-protective feelings! This is all so awful, and we get smacked down and have to pick ourselves up over and over again. Slowly, very slowly for some like me, we start to get it. We start to accept that what we see is what is. No more than that. No less than that. The trail of destruction they leave behind is the reality, at least for today. We have to make plans for how we are going to deal with it, because if we don't, we are like one of those Saturday night boxing matches, with the hits just coming and coming from one side and then another, and our heads are bouncing back and forth, with no prep and no defense. I used to live like that but no more. Today, I am doing the only thing I can do, and that is to decide what I will do. I will make mistakes and I can change my mind, but today I have an approach to all of this. And for me, it's working pretty well, because I have a lot of happiness and peace today. That's the goal. Not to stop my precious difficult child from taking this path. Tried that; doesn't work. My goals today are about me, not him. [/QUOTE]
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