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Arguments over car
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 752508" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>OK, so I read through everyone's comments quickly. As usual, good advice. I will try to address a few things that stuck out at me. Paying forward... Ditto!</p><p></p><p>[How do I come back from that? Do I fix it? Do I leave it? Can I fix it?]</p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, none of us get a rewind. I did the same with my daughter as far as discussing adult things when I shouldn't have. Dumb? Yes Catastrophic? No. I don't think that had a thing to do with my daughter's behaviors, which started before I made her my confidant. The only bad mistake is the one we don't learn from. The way you fix it - note to self - don't do that again. You can apologize. Whether you get the same from her is another story, keep in mind why you think you need to bring it up again. She is manipulating you. </p><p></p><p>[I get so confused so easily when it's my life . My emotions play tricks on me. Feelings are not facts! I need to remember that.]</p><p></p><p>Don't we all? I think you told me this. Envision the conversation as though you are talking with a friend's daughter. As far as the car goes, maybe sit down with her and discuss your concerns, or write them down and give them to her. That way she can't divert. If it's because you don't trust her, give her specific behaviors as to why that is. Maybe ask her what she sees as a logical compromise. Remember she is an ADULT! </p><p></p><p>If you feel you have done or said something that is grounds for her to push you away, address it for your sake. It could be a good sign that she is trying to find her way on her own. Give her the room she needs to fall down so she can learn to get back up on her own. </p><p></p><p>Set limits that will allow the most room for you to enjoy your time away without worry. </p><p></p><p>Pleazzzzzzz enjoy yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 752508, member: 23811"] OK, so I read through everyone's comments quickly. As usual, good advice. I will try to address a few things that stuck out at me. Paying forward... Ditto! [How do I come back from that? Do I fix it? Do I leave it? Can I fix it?] Unfortunately, none of us get a rewind. I did the same with my daughter as far as discussing adult things when I shouldn't have. Dumb? Yes Catastrophic? No. I don't think that had a thing to do with my daughter's behaviors, which started before I made her my confidant. The only bad mistake is the one we don't learn from. The way you fix it - note to self - don't do that again. You can apologize. Whether you get the same from her is another story, keep in mind why you think you need to bring it up again. She is manipulating you. [I get so confused so easily when it's my life . My emotions play tricks on me. Feelings are not facts! I need to remember that.] Don't we all? I think you told me this. Envision the conversation as though you are talking with a friend's daughter. As far as the car goes, maybe sit down with her and discuss your concerns, or write them down and give them to her. That way she can't divert. If it's because you don't trust her, give her specific behaviors as to why that is. Maybe ask her what she sees as a logical compromise. Remember she is an ADULT! If you feel you have done or said something that is grounds for her to push you away, address it for your sake. It could be a good sign that she is trying to find her way on her own. Give her the room she needs to fall down so she can learn to get back up on her own. Set limits that will allow the most room for you to enjoy your time away without worry. Pleazzzzzzz enjoy yourself. [/QUOTE]
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