Arrgghhh! Un **** Believable! I'm ready to Quit!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Aug 19, 2011.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Bear with me....even the explanation is going to make no sense. So if you can figure this out - please let me know.

    MST program is transferring our case to Idiot Caseworker....since she is handling all of our other services.

    The MST program people had a telephone conference with Idiot Caseworker. Idiot Caseworker explained to MST people that she has not provided us any services because we are not actually "in" the program....we are still on the waiting list. {Which is total bull-hockey, by the way....we were on the waiting list in 2009 and were finally, FINALLY supposed to start receiving services at the end of 2010}

    Then Idiot Caseworker called me to let me know that she thought she found a new Behavior Person for us....but that didn't work she has to check with her supervisor and then she is going to interview a couple of new people to be the "new", new Behavior Person. I asked her whether she was now going to be handling Family Support services, since Ms Ally quit and will no longer be coming to our home.

    Nope. Idiot Caseworker explained that our case has been "closed".

    Come again?????




    It has been determined that difficult child does not display any physical or verbal aggression. Therefore, we do not qualify for services.

    Who made this determination? Caseworker does not know. She has no information - just that the case is closed.

    THEN she went on to say something about paperwork and supervisors and she was gonna work really hard on getting on a Behavior Person who could start working with difficult child.

    And in a related story....I happened to see a Behavior Person work with a middle-school child the other day. The BiPolar (BP) brought the girl (who looked to be at least 13) to a kiddie playground where parents were pushing toddlers on swings. The BiPolar (BP) sat on a park bench and filled out paperwork while the girl wandered around looking for something to do. After an hour, the BiPolar (BP) got up and took the girl home. In what freakin universe is THAT considered therapy?????

    I'm just disgusted with the whole d*mn thing.

    Does anyone think a letter to the governor would really make a difference? If so, what would I say????
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    An open letter to state officials and statewide media posted on all their FB pages and asking for the help you've been promised, she needs, and isn't getting.
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    So you're still on the waiting list, but your case has been closed? I'm hoping that the case closed part was JUST for Family Support Services, but I'm not assuming anything due to the mess of this all.

    Anyhoo. Breathe. Since you've seen first hand how useless these Behavior People, are, why would you want one? Yes, I know it's the principle of the thing, but it seems like this ENTIRE program is doing you personally, more harm than good. If difficult child is continuing to take her medications, consider going back to traditional therapy routes.

    Letter to the governor? I wouldn't bother. I'd expect it to be read by some staff intern and tossed aside. You might have better luck with a state rep who has mental health or related services as their 'pet project'. Doesn't have to be from your immediate area either. You can always cc the governor, or visa versa. Might also try whatever agency is in charge of this one.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You have really got to be kidding me! Now granted they didnt always take Cory to some of the most interesting of places because they had him 40 hours a week and how do you do something with a kid for all that time but a playground with a 13 year old? Really?

    Cory was taken to the agency if there was no where else to go. Sit there and do homework.

    DF...I dont think a letter to anyone but the paper is going to help at this point. Or you have investigative reporters at the local news stations there? If nothing else, find out who your local rep is for your state and start contacting them at the local office they have in your area and take in a letter and tell them you want a response. If you dont get an answer, well, start a letter writing campaign weekly. You should be getting the new candidates for President showing up in your area in the next weeks and up and make noise. Figure out where and when all the local county meetings are and show up. Speak up. If you have to write all the way to the head of the Dept of Family Services...well found out who is the director of them...write them. Copy all of the paperwork you have and send it to them and tell them that you are perfectly happy to drop her off at their offices in Columbia on the day that the director says...or the first monday of September!
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    One letter won't do it. Janet is on the right track. I think you need to find the head of the agency who runs all of this and take a couple days off work to go to that person's office. Do as Marg has done in the past. take a book, some other project like knitting or whatever you enjoy, a bunch of snacks, thermos of coffee or whatever, and plan to sit there ALL DAY until that person has time to speak to you as long as you feel is appropriate. Don't let them make an appointment with you and then go somewhere. Oldest trick around - make the appointment with the pesky person, then that person leaves to come back at appointment time and the honcho leaves and doesn't return until after the person has left after not getting their appointment.

    Otherwsie you are not going to get ANY help from these people. Not a teeny bit. I do think if you could get an investigative journalist involved it might get some action, but only in the short term.

    This entire thing is crazy. About the only other way to get their attention is to turn difficult child over to them for foster care because she is "unmanageable" or a danger to the rest of the family. I am not joking. It won't be fun but given her violence, esp to DS, this may end up being the only way you get ANY help from the "system".

    I would call the agency that Ms. Ally was from and ask to see the documentation of everything. I would want to know how they said she was not violent. It may be that since you have not called the police and no one has gone to the ER with injuries from her that they concluded she isn't violent. So the answer to that would be to start calling the police but that may not get any help either.

    I would probably be inclined to ask the idiot to share her crack - it is probably the ONLY way you will EVER understand what is going on with these agencies.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Maybe its time for a lawyer?
    Not a law-suit, but... as the person figuring out who to send what to and what to put in there to light some firecrackers "or else"?
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Wow, you're on a waiting list, the case has been closed, and apparently re-opened so she can find a behavior person all in the same day. You aren't going to get anywhere talking to this person. I assume you've tried to go up the chain of command. I've gotten help before by asking the same agency but in a different city what I should do. They know who I could call to get the help I needed. Asking for the supervisor from the problem person didn't work.

    Maybe also taking difficult child with you to sit in the office when you demand to see the supervisor might help. They can see first hand who they are denying services to. But you'd have to take someone else with you to watch her when you do get in to see the person.
  8. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I would call the MST person that HAD the case but transferred it and tell them what is going on. I agaree with Janet about contacting local news stations. I like the idea of sitting in the office until you get answers too. Bring all documentation from everybody with you. The shear volume of that would hopefully raise some eyebrows. {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}}
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    So, your case is closed after never receiving services, after being on the waiting list for 2 years, but your waiting for a new BiPolar (BP), because your case manager is looking for one.


    Holy moly. Scott Rupp (Rupe? Not sure the spelling) in MO is a big MH and autism advocate. He's on FB and he will reply. Maybe he can point you in a direction (I realize different states, but he might be able to still send you to the right agency to start pounding on some noggins)
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Just an FYI...

    husband contacted his state rep about something. Don't remember what. Nice, handwritten letter to the guy. He actually got a response AND got to meet with the guy - at a restaurant near here.

    Just a thought.

    Media is good. Contact them all until you find someone who will listen... And then again till someone prints it.
  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Thank you so much for the insights.


    You're probably right. I'm not sure how I feel about sharing all of our family's personal issues with the media, though...


    Yeah, I couldn't figure that one out either. How can we be "waitlisted" if she's spent all these months working on our case - and now that case is closed - but don't worry, she's still working on it. And now that I've seen a Behavior Person working first hand? Ugh! I'm just disgusted.


    I don't know that I have the strength to engage in that sort of campaign. Though that probably is what it will take to get anything done at this point.


    I suspect that the determination that difficult child is not aggressive comes from Idiot Caseworker NOT filing monthly reports. All this time, she was supposed to have been meeting with difficult child on a weekly basis, touching base with the parents monthly, and receiving reports from service providers about difficult child's progress as she worked toward our goals. Well, Idiot has not been doing this. She has probably been filing bogus reports. She is obviously a liar...


    That's the first thing husband said. Time for a lawyer.


    This is a state agency. There is one office for each county manned by one or two people. Those two people are never at a desk - so it is a telephone or email relay to get ahold of anyone. Tyhe next step is to go to the governor.


    The MST person who had the case quit. It's all so maddening. I feel like I just keep going in circles. We were referred to MST in the first place because it was taking so long for Idiot to find services.


    Yeah it's a mess....makes no sense.


    I admit I am feeling gun-shy about bringing the media into it. My life is enough of a circus as it is...

    So it sounds like that's the consensus. All or nothing. Media, politicians, and making a huge noise vs being quietly shoved aside. I am NOT good with public attention....even for positive stuff. I don't think I can do it.
  12. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'll be honest with you, husband tried to take the custody disaster to the media. We got one reporter, who, when handed a DVD containing literally thousands of documents backing us up, waved us off and said, "Oh, it's just a he said she said thing." He gave up... That was the 2nd contact. Later, when there was something going on (at the courthouse - not our case), I called the local news... Who sounded bored and then "accidentally" hung up on me.

    But suddenly... There are multiple people filing suit against this judge, and NOW the news is interested.

    With mental health in the forefront, NOW would be the time. And trust me, I do understand your reluctance. I mean, husband makes the news, the kids and I share his last name... And I have a security clearance (as does he)... Uhhhhggghhhh.

    But - your state rep. That's not quite so big a step, Know what I mean??
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm on know some of our state representatives and they aren't as scary as the media. Mostly they are just regular people with jobs and families who take time to also be a representative. I think they would be very interested to know how the agency that they are paying money for is really acting.
  14. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Not sure what your "access to information" laws are like there... but I'd be filing a request for a COMPLETE copy of that file. They can't hide behind "privacy" laws - you're not the media asking for info about private individuals - as the parents, you have the RIGHT to that info. So... ASK, and then:

    1) They will be forced to review the contents in order to copy, and the contents of the file will result in action (even if you don't get a copy)
    2) They will give you the copy... and the problems you will find in there will be excellent fodder for the lawyer and/or political connections etc.
    3) They will NOT give you a copy - as in, refuse to honor the request - and you still have fodder for a lawyer/whoever else.

    I'd be pulling these kinds of stunts (there are probably more like this that can run concurrently... and which will result in either action or solid info to take to the next step) way ahead of going to the media. Don't think I could do the media thing either. But I would pull info campaigns, political string-pulling, interagency cross-checks, legal stuff, etc.
  15. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    When I was fighting with our school district over an IEP, I contacted my local state rep - who also happened to be on the Education Committee and was considered an autism expert (he also fought for mental health parity in my state). Long story short, his staff was extremely helpful in getting the information I needed and were appalled at what was going on. The rep himself actually did call me at work, but I was out when he called.

    I guess it's going to depend on what your state rep considers to be his big issues, but it's definitely worth a shot. More than likely it will be a staffer helping you, but they have access to resources you don't.
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think getting a complete copy of the file is going to be crucial, esp as you are most likely right that Idiot has filed falsified reports or simply hidden the file and not filed anything and managed to slip it out of sight, likely with a TON of other files. This type of thing is like potato chips - can't do just one. I also think that you need a lawyer.

    Many times state agencies are doing things to carry out federal mandates. The fed gov't may not be giving them $$ but they may have influence anyway. So do NOT leave out your federal congressmen when you contact congressmen. It might be one of their projects even if it isn't a state rep's project, Know what I mean??

    It makes me so sick wehn I think about all that your family has gone through and how you have been treated. I would also look for people who are active with the problems she has - Scott Rupp, etc..... There must be someone who is "big" and influention in the world of Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD), etc...
  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sadly, we learned how ineffecient and ineffective state programs are when we did foster care. They were HORRIBLE...mindboggling horrible, not just regular horrible. I hope you find a way to get the services you deserve. I know how frustsrating it is. I agre with trying to get an advocate. We found that it's sort of pointless to get a lawyer for a government agency. The government agency trumped the lawyer and the lawyer told us so (sigh). He told us not to waste our money, but your situation may be different.

  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Df...this is very similar to having to get your local congressmen in the know to help you get your disability file off of some caseworkers desk. That happens more often than you would think. Files simply get lost in a stack on a desk or in a file on the floor long past when deadlines are due. If someone doesnt light a fire, they just stagnate.

    You need to contact any agency who has had contact with your family and attempt to get copies of what they have. Now be prepared that they may not give them to you. If they wont, have your pediatrician request them. At least they will all be in one central place. Sometimes a person isnt allowed to have access to their own psychiatric records. I know, stupid but its a law they may use against you if they know about it. Lets hope they dont.

    After you have everything you need, you need to contact two sets of people. Your congress people for the state and the head of children and families. They are over social services and mental health. Both groups funnel up to the top eventually. There is one head honcho. That is the person you want. I also hit the dept of juvenile justice because at the time Cory was on probation but that isnt your case right now. I didnt stop at local or regional levels, I took it to the very top and believe me, I got a responses and some of it wasnt exactly positive but that was mostly because I worked for a division of children and family and I named names. First thing they did to me was hit me with a CPS investigation but I was ready for that. After all, I accused the local director of telling me to beat my (Is it any wonder I dont work there anymore?) However, eventually I got what I was after.
  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    These different service agencies/reps don't like to work with each other, no matter what they might profess. My guess is that MST used the excuse of you having a different caseworker to close their case, and your caseworker or caseworker's super used the excuse that you were getting MST to close their file. Ie-you fell thru the loophole.
  20. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Something Janet said made me remember - husband's VA disability claim when he had surgery got lumped in with the appeal on the other. He called the same state rep... Funny, the surgery one got split off and approved in less than a week.

    Just a thought...