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The Watercooler
Article about my pet peeve!
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<blockquote data-quote="eekysign" data-source="post: 263416" data-attributes="member: 6479"><p>Maybe it is a guy/girl thing, and I fall on the unusual side. I think it's a pet peeve because while listening to someone complain, my brain is feeding all those facts into a big picture of the situation, and when they finish complaining, my big picture starts feeding me ideas on how to fix the problem. My first thoughts aren't an emotional response to how the situation must have felt for the other person, they're all about how to help the other person, i.e., "Oh, that's what's going on? Well, have you tried XYZ?" And when they reject that, and start whining again, it feels like they're just wallowing, and using me as a sounding board. I'm a friend, not an inanimate object for you to talk at. That's how it feels to me - me who doesn't understand the need to vent with-o a response. Haha.</p><p></p><p>It makes sense, thinking about it that way. Sounds like a logic/emotion argument. I know I need to work on my empathy/sympathy skills, so that would make sense. I am too logical for my own good. If my initial response WAS more emotional, more "Oh man, that's awful - are you ok now?", then venting with-o needing a response wouldn't be a problem for me. Guess I need to get my brain into a better balance? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>It's interesting that some of you have already hit on this topic, from BOTH sides! It seems like it could be a real relationship problem, like CNN was saying, if it's not addressed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="eekysign, post: 263416, member: 6479"] Maybe it is a guy/girl thing, and I fall on the unusual side. I think it's a pet peeve because while listening to someone complain, my brain is feeding all those facts into a big picture of the situation, and when they finish complaining, my big picture starts feeding me ideas on how to fix the problem. My first thoughts aren't an emotional response to how the situation must have felt for the other person, they're all about how to help the other person, i.e., "Oh, that's what's going on? Well, have you tried XYZ?" And when they reject that, and start whining again, it feels like they're just wallowing, and using me as a sounding board. I'm a friend, not an inanimate object for you to talk at. That's how it feels to me - me who doesn't understand the need to vent with-o a response. Haha. It makes sense, thinking about it that way. Sounds like a logic/emotion argument. I know I need to work on my empathy/sympathy skills, so that would make sense. I am too logical for my own good. If my initial response WAS more emotional, more "Oh man, that's awful - are you ok now?", then venting with-o needing a response wouldn't be a problem for me. Guess I need to get my brain into a better balance? :) It's interesting that some of you have already hit on this topic, from BOTH sides! It seems like it could be a real relationship problem, like CNN was saying, if it's not addressed. [/QUOTE]
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