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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 669123" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Yes, I think right now he just wants people on his side. He thinks if he makes me mad at them and think badly of them, then he somehow "wins". Or maybe it's trying to ruin the family for everyone, since he feels he's been excluded from it. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> And he does. As far as he's concerned, the family has kicked him out. He can't see that it's his own behavior that causes it.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not surprised that his aunt asked the girlfriend if he'd ever abused her, nor am I upset with her for asking. He has such angry body language sometimes...and of course, he'd frightened his grandparents, so they would have to wonder if he got that out of control with them, what would he do with his girl behind closed doors. But he does not understand that his manor makes him suspect. He takes it as a personal insult...but it's not an illogical question. It was his aunt, trying to make sure a young girl she'd taken in was safe...even if it meant safe from him. </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>I tend to agree Copa, but I don't see any options really. He never takes advice...never. I told him it would be smart to call his job if he was quitting and to tell them that, thru circumstances he can't control, he's out of housing and he has to get that fixed before he can work again. I told him that would be better and maybe they'd give him a reference. I am sure he has ignored me...just like he ignored me when he quit the job here when Job Corps wanted him sooner than expected. I told him...work up to the last possible second. Give notice of a week or two, but let them know it's unexpected and he thought he'd have months. He just stopped going in, Never even returned his uniform shirts, and then didn't go to Job Corps so he was unemployed and homeless again.</p><p> </p><p>That's why I've resorted to just giving him the names and phone numbers of shelters. Nothing I say makes an impact.</p><p> </p><p>I find it very disheartening that his messages to me have only been to complain...not to tell me of any progress. Did he call the shelter? Did he find a place to stay? Did he call work? He can't tell me that...only that the family treated him bad and I should remember that next time I go to a family gathering.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 669123, member: 17309"] Yes, I think right now he just wants people on his side. He thinks if he makes me mad at them and think badly of them, then he somehow "wins". Or maybe it's trying to ruin the family for everyone, since he feels he's been excluded from it. :( And he does. As far as he's concerned, the family has kicked him out. He can't see that it's his own behavior that causes it. I'm not surprised that his aunt asked the girlfriend if he'd ever abused her, nor am I upset with her for asking. He has such angry body language sometimes...and of course, he'd frightened his grandparents, so they would have to wonder if he got that out of control with them, what would he do with his girl behind closed doors. But he does not understand that his manor makes him suspect. He takes it as a personal insult...but it's not an illogical question. It was his aunt, trying to make sure a young girl she'd taken in was safe...even if it meant safe from him. I tend to agree Copa, but I don't see any options really. He never takes advice...never. I told him it would be smart to call his job if he was quitting and to tell them that, thru circumstances he can't control, he's out of housing and he has to get that fixed before he can work again. I told him that would be better and maybe they'd give him a reference. I am sure he has ignored me...just like he ignored me when he quit the job here when Job Corps wanted him sooner than expected. I told him...work up to the last possible second. Give notice of a week or two, but let them know it's unexpected and he thought he'd have months. He just stopped going in, Never even returned his uniform shirts, and then didn't go to Job Corps so he was unemployed and homeless again. That's why I've resorted to just giving him the names and phone numbers of shelters. Nothing I say makes an impact. I find it very disheartening that his messages to me have only been to complain...not to tell me of any progress. Did he call the shelter? Did he find a place to stay? Did he call work? He can't tell me that...only that the family treated him bad and I should remember that next time I go to a family gathering. [/QUOTE]
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