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General Parenting
As I Sit Here - UPDATED FROM COURT
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 24616" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I worked as a foster parent. I know this isn't the way all foster parents see it, but for me it was an eye opening look at how flawed the system is. Kids were taken away that never should have gone. Kids were reunified after their parent tried to murder them (I swear on a stack of Bibles, and then the social workers expressed shock when she broke his leg and the poor kid finally got away from her for good). Judges are not created equal. When we had our eleven year old sexual abuser, the judge was kind, understanding and respectful of me and hub. But it was the luck of the draw. Another judge may have said, "Why did it take you so long to figure it out?" It's a question I ask myself every day and it could have really been the end of our family if the judge had blamed us for something we already felt so guilty about that I ended up on a psychiatric ward for a week. I never advise anyone to give their kids to the system. They promise a lot and lie a lot, and I had talked to bio. parents who were stunned that they had lost most of any say-so of their kids. After three years of it, we quit foster care and, after adopting eleven year old, we decided never to bring an older child into our house again. I would never put my child into foster care, but I know the system, most don't. And that doesn't mean it's wrong for somebody else to do it. But, really, you have to remember that is no big litmus test to being a foster parent. We take six weeks of classes that you can't really apply to the situation, and that's all. There are many foster parents like Janna's foster mom who feels righteous and like SHE can do what nobody else can, and that the parent is in the wrong. Think carefully before giving your kid to somebody else. Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Janna had no idea it would turn out like this. If a child is doing poorly with people who love and want to help him, how can strangers do a better job? As for Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, if a kid is violent, you have no choice, but, in my opinion, I don't think Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s really address the problems. Still, it's a viable option when a child is too dangerous too live at home. Too bad we don't have better options. Just a little rant here :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 24616, member: 1550"] I worked as a foster parent. I know this isn't the way all foster parents see it, but for me it was an eye opening look at how flawed the system is. Kids were taken away that never should have gone. Kids were reunified after their parent tried to murder them (I swear on a stack of Bibles, and then the social workers expressed shock when she broke his leg and the poor kid finally got away from her for good). Judges are not created equal. When we had our eleven year old sexual abuser, the judge was kind, understanding and respectful of me and hub. But it was the luck of the draw. Another judge may have said, "Why did it take you so long to figure it out?" It's a question I ask myself every day and it could have really been the end of our family if the judge had blamed us for something we already felt so guilty about that I ended up on a psychiatric ward for a week. I never advise anyone to give their kids to the system. They promise a lot and lie a lot, and I had talked to bio. parents who were stunned that they had lost most of any say-so of their kids. After three years of it, we quit foster care and, after adopting eleven year old, we decided never to bring an older child into our house again. I would never put my child into foster care, but I know the system, most don't. And that doesn't mean it's wrong for somebody else to do it. But, really, you have to remember that is no big litmus test to being a foster parent. We take six weeks of classes that you can't really apply to the situation, and that's all. There are many foster parents like Janna's foster mom who feels righteous and like SHE can do what nobody else can, and that the parent is in the wrong. Think carefully before giving your kid to somebody else. Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Janna had no idea it would turn out like this. If a child is doing poorly with people who love and want to help him, how can strangers do a better job? As for Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, if a kid is violent, you have no choice, but, in my opinion, I don't think Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s really address the problems. Still, it's a viable option when a child is too dangerous too live at home. Too bad we don't have better options. Just a little rant here [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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