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<blockquote data-quote="ML" data-source="post: 258670"><p>My stepson (J) has moved back in. He's a real dude's dude. He is the eptitome of "cool" in manster's eyes. J is not a patient person. He's rather grumpy and vocal at times and manster gets upset when J communicates with him. For instance manster struggles with foot odor. It's actually been a lot better lately but the past couple weeks he's not been wearing socks and it's gotten worse. J was giving him a hard time about it and it made manster feel bad. He was upset, though he didn't show it, but I could see the tears he was holding back. He doesn't want J to see him cry. I've noticed that manster is getting more upset with me when I say things to him when J is around because it embarasses him.</p><p></p><p>So here is my basic question. Do I intervene and ask J to be nicer? J will resent it if I do and basically say that I'm coddling him which is what he believes. OR, should I use this as an opportunity to let manster deal with other types of personalities? There will be people in his life that aren't always careful with how they speak to him. This could be good practice.</p><p></p><p>Just wondering what you think. There is still a fair amound of denial in my home that manster has AS. They think he has a case of overproctivemother. But any guilt I have in this area is an effect, not a cause. Hard to get people do see that at time.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for any perspective.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ML, post: 258670"] My stepson (J) has moved back in. He's a real dude's dude. He is the eptitome of "cool" in manster's eyes. J is not a patient person. He's rather grumpy and vocal at times and manster gets upset when J communicates with him. For instance manster struggles with foot odor. It's actually been a lot better lately but the past couple weeks he's not been wearing socks and it's gotten worse. J was giving him a hard time about it and it made manster feel bad. He was upset, though he didn't show it, but I could see the tears he was holding back. He doesn't want J to see him cry. I've noticed that manster is getting more upset with me when I say things to him when J is around because it embarasses him. So here is my basic question. Do I intervene and ask J to be nicer? J will resent it if I do and basically say that I'm coddling him which is what he believes. OR, should I use this as an opportunity to let manster deal with other types of personalities? There will be people in his life that aren't always careful with how they speak to him. This could be good practice. Just wondering what you think. There is still a fair amound of denial in my home that manster has AS. They think he has a case of overproctivemother. But any guilt I have in this area is an effect, not a cause. Hard to get people do see that at time. Thanks for any perspective. [/QUOTE]
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