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General Parenting
Asperger's and lying
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<blockquote data-quote="Pony1798" data-source="post: 400365"><p>I have a son with Asperger's (he's now 21 y/o). He learned how to lie and used to lie quite frequently. At its worst, he was in his teens and driving a car. He would leave his father's (my ex's) house, in the mornings, pretending to go to school, but would use the house key I gave him to my house, to hang at my place all day while I was at work. He got in trouble at school and with the county for excessive absenteeism and I demanded my key back, which I got. I knew he'd been hanging at my place mostly because he would fail to lock push-knob lock in the front door when he left. One morning I had returned back home because I forgot something. Guess who I spotted pulling up to the my driveway after he was supposed to begin his school day. He kept on driving past, making a show that he was talking into his cell phone. The story of that day: "Mom, I was on my way to pick up a friend to take him to school with me". WRONG/BUSTED - as my house was outside of the boundary for kids to live, to go to my son's school. It seems my son never learned that most lies do in fact snowball. Not only that, they cost, cost, cost. I know that all kids lie (not just those with Asp's). But I wonder if it tends to be worse with Aspergers, as it seems their mind just cannot completely process certain aspects such as consequences for behaviors (like lying). My son and I rarely talk these days. So I don't know if the problem with lying still continues to this day (but I would bet it does). Just like my other post on a different thread - tough parenting of this kid cost me a relationship (or at least a normal one) with him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Pony1798, post: 400365"] I have a son with Asperger's (he's now 21 y/o). He learned how to lie and used to lie quite frequently. At its worst, he was in his teens and driving a car. He would leave his father's (my ex's) house, in the mornings, pretending to go to school, but would use the house key I gave him to my house, to hang at my place all day while I was at work. He got in trouble at school and with the county for excessive absenteeism and I demanded my key back, which I got. I knew he'd been hanging at my place mostly because he would fail to lock push-knob lock in the front door when he left. One morning I had returned back home because I forgot something. Guess who I spotted pulling up to the my driveway after he was supposed to begin his school day. He kept on driving past, making a show that he was talking into his cell phone. The story of that day: "Mom, I was on my way to pick up a friend to take him to school with me". WRONG/BUSTED - as my house was outside of the boundary for kids to live, to go to my son's school. It seems my son never learned that most lies do in fact snowball. Not only that, they cost, cost, cost. I know that all kids lie (not just those with Asp's). But I wonder if it tends to be worse with Aspergers, as it seems their mind just cannot completely process certain aspects such as consequences for behaviors (like lying). My son and I rarely talk these days. So I don't know if the problem with lying still continues to this day (but I would bet it does). Just like my other post on a different thread - tough parenting of this kid cost me a relationship (or at least a normal one) with him. [/QUOTE]
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