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Asperger's and lying
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 400443" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Terry, as far as my dad you are right!! He once told my mom some story about a wheelbarrow being invented by the Earl of Barrow and said how it happened and why and why the name stuck. It was ALL made up off the top of his head, totally spur of the moment. My mother told a LOT of people in the next few days, having NO idea that he made it up. When she found out it was because his shock (total shock) that she told anyone. She could not remember who she told and I have actually heard that same story from several other sources (the invention of the wheelbarrow and the Earl of Barrow) who all believe it. It has been over 20 years and I heard it again this Christmas - and NOT as a joke. Now, of course, there is NO way to refute it with-o sounding like an idiot who is making things up, lol. Now my mother will listen to my dad and then ask if it is a "wheelbarrow" before she believes it! Dad NEVER meant for it to be retold - it was just a story he spun at the spur of the moment as a joke. He did NOT intend for anyone to believe it, but it is a story that apparently was easy to believe, at least in our area. (I have even heard one of the elem teachers at thank you's school tell it to students - how do I explain it in THAT situation?)</p><p> </p><p>He has been successful with Wiz because they are equally matched in many Aspie ways, including determination and bull-headedness. </p><p> </p><p>To make it painful and miserable for difficult child - if he steals from someone and fesses up right away then he needs to pay for the item and not be allowed to keep it. If it cannot be used/resold with no damage then he needs to also pay damages equal to the amount of the item. If he steals and damages it or uses it up substantially, and then lies - have him pay 3 times the cost of the item and NOT keep it. NOT keeping it is the key. He also cannot use money that was given to him - it MUST be paid with money he EARNED with his own WORK. period. Even if it takes time and you have to pay and have him work it off. he gets NO new things/fun things/ movie rentals/etc... until it is paid off. If he gets allowance he should NOT be allowed to use it ALL to pay off a debt. Some needs to be kept so that he can cover some impulse purchases/things he wants. YOU don't buy him books/toys/etc... but being totally deprived sets up a mindset that will make him feel he has to steal more. So let him keep some money he earns/gets as allowance/etc... for a candy bar or soda when you are out, for a small purchase. It will help curb future stealing and lying.</p><p> </p><p>This has to be applied to at home and not just in public/out of the family. Otherwise it own't work. It is part of making lying too miserable and it is what my dad finally found worked for Wiz.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 400443, member: 1233"] Terry, as far as my dad you are right!! He once told my mom some story about a wheelbarrow being invented by the Earl of Barrow and said how it happened and why and why the name stuck. It was ALL made up off the top of his head, totally spur of the moment. My mother told a LOT of people in the next few days, having NO idea that he made it up. When she found out it was because his shock (total shock) that she told anyone. She could not remember who she told and I have actually heard that same story from several other sources (the invention of the wheelbarrow and the Earl of Barrow) who all believe it. It has been over 20 years and I heard it again this Christmas - and NOT as a joke. Now, of course, there is NO way to refute it with-o sounding like an idiot who is making things up, lol. Now my mother will listen to my dad and then ask if it is a "wheelbarrow" before she believes it! Dad NEVER meant for it to be retold - it was just a story he spun at the spur of the moment as a joke. He did NOT intend for anyone to believe it, but it is a story that apparently was easy to believe, at least in our area. (I have even heard one of the elem teachers at thank you's school tell it to students - how do I explain it in THAT situation?) He has been successful with Wiz because they are equally matched in many Aspie ways, including determination and bull-headedness. To make it painful and miserable for difficult child - if he steals from someone and fesses up right away then he needs to pay for the item and not be allowed to keep it. If it cannot be used/resold with no damage then he needs to also pay damages equal to the amount of the item. If he steals and damages it or uses it up substantially, and then lies - have him pay 3 times the cost of the item and NOT keep it. NOT keeping it is the key. He also cannot use money that was given to him - it MUST be paid with money he EARNED with his own WORK. period. Even if it takes time and you have to pay and have him work it off. he gets NO new things/fun things/ movie rentals/etc... until it is paid off. If he gets allowance he should NOT be allowed to use it ALL to pay off a debt. Some needs to be kept so that he can cover some impulse purchases/things he wants. YOU don't buy him books/toys/etc... but being totally deprived sets up a mindset that will make him feel he has to steal more. So let him keep some money he earns/gets as allowance/etc... for a candy bar or soda when you are out, for a small purchase. It will help curb future stealing and lying. This has to be applied to at home and not just in public/out of the family. Otherwise it own't work. It is part of making lying too miserable and it is what my dad finally found worked for Wiz. [/QUOTE]
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