whateveryousay2007
New Member
I found out some interesting information last night and I was wanting some advice on what I should do. First off my difficult child has Aspergers Syndrome and since April is Autism month my mother was watching Larry King Live. He noted that several women who bought sperm had children with autism and they linked it back to one donor.
My mom raised the question if my difficult child's half-brother had it too?
So, I thought about it for a moment and made a phone call.
A little history.....
My ex-hubby cheated on me while I was 5 months pregnant. I found out and kicked him out. Filed for divorce and told him cya later. Come to find out the girl thought he was divorced (his family was lying to her...and she was kind of young and naive). She knew I was pregnant. She was pregnant. Once she found out that we were still married she left him and moved back home.
After her baby was born we started talking on the phone and agreed that we would keep in contact. I never blamed her, he was the one that knew he was married.
So....now here's the situation
It's been awhile since we talked and I mentioned that mine had ADD but after further testing he was also diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. She told me she knew what it was because her difficult child had ADD & Asperger's too.
Their childhoods are a mirror immage of each other. Both were reading before age 3, both struggle socially, both are reading way beyond their level (but lacks the concept of the story), math is hard, spelling & science are their strong suits, they both weigh less than 55 lbs.....the list goes on and on.
She was excited (as well as me) to have a better understanding of why/how our children have this. (Not to play the blame game....but it's hard when you wonder if it's something I did. Immuninizations....etc)
So, here's the thing. Neither one of us have kept contact with the bio-donor. She hates him. He's never seen their child. He signed away rights on my difficult child when I re-married. Although, I do see his family quite a bit and do communicate with them (nothing personal....just social if we cross paths) and I do intend on telling difficult child when he's older about bio-dad.
Should anyone say anything to him about him carrying a gene for Autism (asperger's syndrome)? I don't think much of the guy (I don't even hate him anymore...it's been almost 9 years. It's the past now.) but should he know in case he plans on having any more kids? I don't want to blame him for it (difficult child is perfect the way he is....eccentric) but I'd hate for another woman to go through 6 years of her childs life wondering what is going on.
any ideas? Or should I just leave it alone?
I didn't think about him trying to visit. It's probably best left alone. He can't visit mine (he signed away legal rights) but thanks for the insight.
My mom raised the question if my difficult child's half-brother had it too?
So, I thought about it for a moment and made a phone call.
A little history.....
My ex-hubby cheated on me while I was 5 months pregnant. I found out and kicked him out. Filed for divorce and told him cya later. Come to find out the girl thought he was divorced (his family was lying to her...and she was kind of young and naive). She knew I was pregnant. She was pregnant. Once she found out that we were still married she left him and moved back home.
After her baby was born we started talking on the phone and agreed that we would keep in contact. I never blamed her, he was the one that knew he was married.
So....now here's the situation
It's been awhile since we talked and I mentioned that mine had ADD but after further testing he was also diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. She told me she knew what it was because her difficult child had ADD & Asperger's too.
Their childhoods are a mirror immage of each other. Both were reading before age 3, both struggle socially, both are reading way beyond their level (but lacks the concept of the story), math is hard, spelling & science are their strong suits, they both weigh less than 55 lbs.....the list goes on and on.
She was excited (as well as me) to have a better understanding of why/how our children have this. (Not to play the blame game....but it's hard when you wonder if it's something I did. Immuninizations....etc)
So, here's the thing. Neither one of us have kept contact with the bio-donor. She hates him. He's never seen their child. He signed away rights on my difficult child when I re-married. Although, I do see his family quite a bit and do communicate with them (nothing personal....just social if we cross paths) and I do intend on telling difficult child when he's older about bio-dad.
Should anyone say anything to him about him carrying a gene for Autism (asperger's syndrome)? I don't think much of the guy (I don't even hate him anymore...it's been almost 9 years. It's the past now.) but should he know in case he plans on having any more kids? I don't want to blame him for it (difficult child is perfect the way he is....eccentric) but I'd hate for another woman to go through 6 years of her childs life wondering what is going on.
any ideas? Or should I just leave it alone?
I didn't think about him trying to visit. It's probably best left alone. He can't visit mine (he signed away legal rights) but thanks for the insight.