I understand very much why some people (including me at times) just want to see children as children...trust me. I have a label as does my son.
The sad fact is, there were always labels.
Before we understood disorders, they were unofficial labels though and many children now diagnosed with autistic spectrum or any sort of mental illness or even mental retardation were hidden in institutions. I am old enough to remember. And, until they got there, they were labeled meanly by the teachers, children, and other parents. The labels went something like this:
ADHD: Off the wall kid, crazy, badly parented child, behavior problem, spoiled brat, lazy, stupid
Mood disorder/anxiety (I had this and would sometimes scream in school if I had a panic attack): CRAZY (I was called "mental" all through elementary school up until high school because of three outbursts I had that the teachers yelled at me for and the kids cracked up over).
Aspergers/Autism: Weirdo, "queer" (our old word for hopelessly unacceptable), idiot, mental
There was NO trying to explain to the other kids to be tolerant. There was NO understanding even from the teachers who we were hoping would protect us. There were NO breaks, help, interventions, nothing. I was manhandled and laughed at by teachers and kids both. Once my teacher, angry at my messy desk (I was hopelessly disorganized), threw it over so that everything fell out of it and said, "You will stay in for recess and clean this desk! Class, this is what you DON'T want your desk to look like." Everyone was laughing. Yes, my mom went to school on my behalf, but she was told I was "lazy" and "underachieving" and "defiant." She got no help or sympathy.
There were the "bad" kids too...many just like our difficult children only they were not seperated into other classes. They were the kids who always got into trouble and got into fights and were ridiculed and vilified with no understanding in front of the class. Obviouisly, the way "different" children were treated, school was hell on earth and the teachers themselves made it even harder. They seemed to like the popular, typical kids better. Teachers aren't allowed to be this abusive anymore and they certainly can't humiliate children on purpose. But if it happened to me in an extremely classy, upper income area, it happened in other places too back then.
Things aren't perfect yet. We don't understand all the "differences" our children have or how to help each child. But there is much stronger attempt to TRY. How did I fare with no label and no Learning Disability (LD) help? Well, the only reason I graduated high school was because my rather well off parents could afford a private tutor. Even then, I graduated number 700 (a nice, round figure) out of about 860 children in my grade. Yes, I am a babyboomer, ya think
I tried a junior college, but dropped out and then had a series of jobs which were very hard for me. I kept getting fired. So I got married to a man I didn't love because I didn't feel I could support myself and my parents thought I was deliberately getting fired and were threatening to throw me out.
My son, who as a form of autism, can look forward to supports for as long as he needs them. There are lots of people who understand him, and he is a happy, cheerful young adult. He had a nice childhood with people who did their best to help him, and they did help him.
I would rather have been labeled correctly "Learning disabled, depression, anxiety disorder" than been called "mental" and "stupid." It also would have helped if I had gotten help in school so that I may have been able to go to college and fulfill my own dreams (yes, I had many lofty goals). I would have liked to have understood why I felt so sad sometimes that I couldn't even smile (for an entire year i would not smile at anybody) or why I freaked out at school so badly that I screamed in terror and got called "mental." I would have liked therapy, maybe even low-key medication so that every morning I didn't throw up in fear before school.
I guess my point is, we always had labels. It's just that the old ones were not well meaning at all and did not even try to explain why some children were "different." And the "interventions" were administered by clueless teachers and mean kids who didn't understand us. I prefer it this way. I know it isn't perfect yet, but it's a big improvement over what used to be.
JMO