Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Aspergers young adult disrespectful to parent
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 676294" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with Insane. Gardengirl you have done wonderfully for him. The thing is, after coming to this board I believe my son has to do for himself. He is an adult. He needs to achieve according to his own abilities and fueled by his own motivation. I understand now it is not respectful to him to sacrifice my own life, that he should live his. My son receives SSI for mental illness. His judgment is poor and he is poorly organized. My son has a chronic illness that requires treatment. Without it, he will likely not live his normal lifespan.</p><p></p><p>I had to let go of that too. Because I could not control it. It was making me ill trying to. I was always afraid. I had to accept that it is his life to live, not mine. My job is to take care of me. When I have to choose between us now, him or me, I choose me.</p><p></p><p>My own son dropped out of college after one year, let his driver's license lapse, left his job, etc. He got a brain injury. Multiple hospitalizations. He spent a time homeless. He seems unable or unwilling to live independently.</p><p></p><p>As I write this, to myself I sound heartless. I am not.</p><p></p><p>Where I live there are services publicly for adults who cannot live independently. I have decided it is better for him, if he avails himself of those resources. I realized I am fostering dependence if I do for him. Even if he cannot, now. He may be later. He is highly intelligent, like your son.</p><p></p><p>I do not want to artificially set a ceiling for him by fostering dependencies.</p><p></p><p>I thought too like you. I would buy him a house, etc. Find a roommate, etc. I decided against it. What I will do is set up my finances so when I die, he will have a place to live.</p><p></p><p>My adult son is deciding how he will live and doing it himself. They can do it. If they need help they need to seek it. That is how people mature. If he makes mistakes, he will learn. If I do it, he will not.</p><p></p><p>That is how I feel now.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 676294, member: 18958"] I agree with Insane. Gardengirl you have done wonderfully for him. The thing is, after coming to this board I believe my son has to do for himself. He is an adult. He needs to achieve according to his own abilities and fueled by his own motivation. I understand now it is not respectful to him to sacrifice my own life, that he should live his. My son receives SSI for mental illness. His judgment is poor and he is poorly organized. My son has a chronic illness that requires treatment. Without it, he will likely not live his normal lifespan. I had to let go of that too. Because I could not control it. It was making me ill trying to. I was always afraid. I had to accept that it is his life to live, not mine. My job is to take care of me. When I have to choose between us now, him or me, I choose me. My own son dropped out of college after one year, let his driver's license lapse, left his job, etc. He got a brain injury. Multiple hospitalizations. He spent a time homeless. He seems unable or unwilling to live independently. As I write this, to myself I sound heartless. I am not. Where I live there are services publicly for adults who cannot live independently. I have decided it is better for him, if he avails himself of those resources. I realized I am fostering dependence if I do for him. Even if he cannot, now. He may be later. He is highly intelligent, like your son. I do not want to artificially set a ceiling for him by fostering dependencies. I thought too like you. I would buy him a house, etc. Find a roommate, etc. I decided against it. What I will do is set up my finances so when I die, he will have a place to live. My adult son is deciding how he will live and doing it himself. They can do it. If they need help they need to seek it. That is how people mature. If he makes mistakes, he will learn. If I do it, he will not. That is how I feel now. COPA [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Aspergers young adult disrespectful to parent
Top