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Aspie/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) linguistic nit-picking...
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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 586736"><p>Oh I can relate! Disclaimer first: nothing I post works all the time on all my difficult children. I find that with husband when he tries this with me I give him "the look". If that doesn't work I change the subject. If I try to get him to see my point of view and that he hurt my feelings he just argues it. difficult child 1 I ignore most of what he says and he just keeps talking. There are some phrases I use with all 3 kids.</p><p></p><p> "I don't care what you call it you know what I was talking about." </p><p>"You can call it ... And he can call it ... And both are right. There is more than one right answer." Of course they don't agree that there is more than one right answer, but if they continue to argue I start sending kids to their rooms or time out.</p><p> "No he is not cheating he is just playing differently than you." </p><p>"I don't care who is right." And then when they try to argue their point say "I don't care"every time they open their mouths. It takes difficult child 1 about 3 trys before he gives up and goes off muttering his case to himself.</p><p></p><p>I find that while my kids are sweet and loving because of the autism they just don't get the 'your hurting your sibling by correcting them'. The closest I've gotten to be able to teach them that is for them to help somebody be happy. This does get them to do nice things for each other, but it doesn't stop them from the nit picking. Because they can't put together that the nit picking is hurting. The flip side of this is that you can be very blunt with them and not hurt their feelings, as long as it is said in a very matter of fact tone of voice. </p><p></p><p>We are still very much working on this and I'll be re-reading this thread for ideas.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 586736"] Oh I can relate! Disclaimer first: nothing I post works all the time on all my difficult children. I find that with husband when he tries this with me I give him "the look". If that doesn't work I change the subject. If I try to get him to see my point of view and that he hurt my feelings he just argues it. difficult child 1 I ignore most of what he says and he just keeps talking. There are some phrases I use with all 3 kids. "I don't care what you call it you know what I was talking about." "You can call it ... And he can call it ... And both are right. There is more than one right answer." Of course they don't agree that there is more than one right answer, but if they continue to argue I start sending kids to their rooms or time out. "No he is not cheating he is just playing differently than you." "I don't care who is right." And then when they try to argue their point say "I don't care"every time they open their mouths. It takes difficult child 1 about 3 trys before he gives up and goes off muttering his case to himself. I find that while my kids are sweet and loving because of the autism they just don't get the 'your hurting your sibling by correcting them'. The closest I've gotten to be able to teach them that is for them to help somebody be happy. This does get them to do nice things for each other, but it doesn't stop them from the nit picking. Because they can't put together that the nit picking is hurting. The flip side of this is that you can be very blunt with them and not hurt their feelings, as long as it is said in a very matter of fact tone of voice. We are still very much working on this and I'll be re-reading this thread for ideas. [/QUOTE]
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