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<blockquote data-quote="confuzzled" data-source="post: 643113" data-attributes="member: 8831"><p>I don't know...it SOUNDED like a great idea last week when I invited my inlaws over for today.</p><p></p><p>until today <em>actually</em> got here and I was happily in pajamas, not in the mood to clean and essentially wanted to veg out.</p><p></p><p>it happens to the best of us.</p><p></p><p>anxiety can be extremely difficult to manage, if that's what it truly is. it often involves baby steps--like, if she'd go to the curb and get the mail out of your mailbox today it would be a successful day.</p><p></p><p>if she's on the spectrum, she may need a lot more down time than you can imagine. and i'm not sure i'd totally discount her online world, provided you keep some safe parameters...its often the very social outlet that we insist they have in real life. many of them find a real sense of community around their interests--whether its a gaming site or an art group or whatever. they find like minded people who will talk ad nauseum about the details of minecraft or my little pony or whatever (and personally, don't look a gift horse in the mouth unless <em>you</em> feel like talking about it constantly)</p><p></p><p>and lastly, she's 14. very many *typical* teens hole up in their room with their devices. its actually not all that weird.</p><p></p><p>the difference between a typical teen and one with issues is how functional they are. a typical teen knows they have to go to school and just, well, goes. one will issues will find 1000 reasons why they cant/wont/are unable to do whatever and can physically respond. if she's not functioning in society and meeting reasonable expectations, there can be an issue (and this is hard to discern at her age--you'd be stupefied about how hygiene for a typical 14 year old is a pretty big issue still--they either primp for hours or go days without showering, so its a giant range).</p><p></p><p>I would say I'd be concerned about her all night computer sessions. she may need a very firm boundary--at 10pm all electronics come out and you can read a book if you cant sleep, but that's it-you can have them back in the morning, or after school or whatever. but if that's what she'd doing-spectrum or not, she's not sleeping appropriately, and its certainly not helping her attitude/energy/anxiety. but make it an actual RULE and stick to it...not, its Christmas break and you can have them later---if she is aspie, she needs the rule 24/7/365.</p><p></p><p>sorry you are still having such a rough time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="confuzzled, post: 643113, member: 8831"] I don't know...it SOUNDED like a great idea last week when I invited my inlaws over for today. until today [I]actually[/I] got here and I was happily in pajamas, not in the mood to clean and essentially wanted to veg out. it happens to the best of us. anxiety can be extremely difficult to manage, if that's what it truly is. it often involves baby steps--like, if she'd go to the curb and get the mail out of your mailbox today it would be a successful day. if she's on the spectrum, she may need a lot more down time than you can imagine. and i'm not sure i'd totally discount her online world, provided you keep some safe parameters...its often the very social outlet that we insist they have in real life. many of them find a real sense of community around their interests--whether its a gaming site or an art group or whatever. they find like minded people who will talk ad nauseum about the details of minecraft or my little pony or whatever (and personally, don't look a gift horse in the mouth unless [I]you[/I] feel like talking about it constantly) and lastly, she's 14. very many *typical* teens hole up in their room with their devices. its actually not all that weird. the difference between a typical teen and one with issues is how functional they are. a typical teen knows they have to go to school and just, well, goes. one will issues will find 1000 reasons why they cant/wont/are unable to do whatever and can physically respond. if she's not functioning in society and meeting reasonable expectations, there can be an issue (and this is hard to discern at her age--you'd be stupefied about how hygiene for a typical 14 year old is a pretty big issue still--they either primp for hours or go days without showering, so its a giant range). I would say I'd be concerned about her all night computer sessions. she may need a very firm boundary--at 10pm all electronics come out and you can read a book if you cant sleep, but that's it-you can have them back in the morning, or after school or whatever. but if that's what she'd doing-spectrum or not, she's not sleeping appropriately, and its certainly not helping her attitude/energy/anxiety. but make it an actual RULE and stick to it...not, its Christmas break and you can have them later---if she is aspie, she needs the rule 24/7/365. sorry you are still having such a rough time. [/QUOTE]
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