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Substance Abuse
at a loss today
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 604047" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>In one sense, yes it matters. It's like the difference between the person who walks past the dust and the dirty floor, and the blind person who does the same. We don't expect the blind person to see it. Sometimes, knowing whether it's "can't" or "won't" makes a difference on how we take it, and the strategies we use to deal with it. And given that you have two kids on the spectrum... your husband may well have some of those traits also.</p><p> </p><p>BUT.</p><p> </p><p>No matter what... YOU need help.</p><p>Two difficult child kids, both AS, one with more complications... YOU need help.</p><p>You need a therapist or some kind of counsellor that you can talk to, someone you can dump on who can take it instead of dishing it back.</p><p>You need to find slices of time for your sanity. For some of us, we can't even get away on our own, so we have creative sources... for me, it's a bath after everyone else is in bed and the house is shut down for the night... it's my "half-hour" of me-time, and I refuse to think about anybody else for 30 minutes. I recite poetry in my head, or favorite songs. I plan the next craft project, knowing it will be a few years before I can get to it... it's still fun. Some people give themselves a half-hour of uninterrupted reading time. Or a dog-walk. SOMETHING that does something for YOU.</p><p> </p><p>What options do you have for respite for one or more of the kids? Even an hour or two at a time makes a big difference.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 604047, member: 11791"] In one sense, yes it matters. It's like the difference between the person who walks past the dust and the dirty floor, and the blind person who does the same. We don't expect the blind person to see it. Sometimes, knowing whether it's "can't" or "won't" makes a difference on how we take it, and the strategies we use to deal with it. And given that you have two kids on the spectrum... your husband may well have some of those traits also. BUT. No matter what... YOU need help. Two difficult child kids, both AS, one with more complications... YOU need help. You need a therapist or some kind of counsellor that you can talk to, someone you can dump on who can take it instead of dishing it back. You need to find slices of time for your sanity. For some of us, we can't even get away on our own, so we have creative sources... for me, it's a bath after everyone else is in bed and the house is shut down for the night... it's my "half-hour" of me-time, and I refuse to think about anybody else for 30 minutes. I recite poetry in my head, or favorite songs. I plan the next craft project, knowing it will be a few years before I can get to it... it's still fun. Some people give themselves a half-hour of uninterrupted reading time. Or a dog-walk. SOMETHING that does something for YOU. What options do you have for respite for one or more of the kids? Even an hour or two at a time makes a big difference. [/QUOTE]
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