At a loss

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by PersonalEnigma, Feb 4, 2008.

  1. PersonalEnigma

    PersonalEnigma New Member

    I've not been posting much the last week or so as I have had my hands more than full here with difficult child. I don't know what to do with him. School is a huge issue. His behaviour at school keeps escalating (he did have one good week after getting off medications, but now he's even worse). The other kids in his class are now afraid of him and he even drove his poor teacher to tears. The EA is working with him in his little room because his behaviour makes it impossible for him to be in the classroom with the other students.

    Today I am meeting with the school to work on some solutions. I was hoping to go in for the day, but it turns out that they are having specialists come in to discuss difficult child's saftey plan, including getting "protective gear" for the teachers :eek: I can't beleve it has come to this :(

    I am busy working on finding some possible solutions to his issues. I am researching various disorders (both those he's officially diagnosed with and others) to create a plan. There is so much information to go through and my time is very limited with a young baby at home and now having difficult child at home most of the time (between being sent home, having bad days before even leaving and now as we are working on having a strategy in place before difficult child goes to school again - my choice on that one). I have had lots of ideas, but am having a very hard time getting my mind wrapped around them all and getting a real plan in place. My mind is just a scatter or information right now and nothing is clicking :s

    difficult child is so oppositional at home. My hubby can't cope with it and argues with him all the time, making things worse. I have not brought myself to speak to husband about that yet, but will have to soon as it isn't helping at all. I can barley cope with it and am finding myself making more threats than usual (taking priveledges and even threatening spankings - something I almost never threaten as I believe that he is too old for spankings to be a reasonable punishment - to me they are only for kids that are too young to be reasoned with and in situations that are dangerous or otherwise completely unacceptable). I am usually very good with difficult child, talking things through with him, helping him find ways to cope, etc., but right now I just can't do it :(

    I am at my wits end :( I am so stressed out. I've been quite depressed the last week and just barely manage the minimum around the house. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep :( I love difficult child very much, but right now I find it very hard to like him at all :( I know this is only temporary, but I find it hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. It is even hard to enjoy easy child right now :(

    I just don't now how to cope :(
  2. amorgan37

    amorgan37 mominneed

    HI, I am the mother of a 9 y/o girl with odd, she was just diagnosed several months ago( officially) but has been difficult since age 2. Please don't give up, the worse thing you can do is cover up and and go to sleep. I found this website a couple of weeks ago, and am glad to know that my family is not the only one suffering. Focus on the good your child does, because thruout the day there has to be something, that is the hardest for me. We started therapy, which I am not thrilled with, and the first thing the therapist asked was what good happened over the last 2 weeks, neither my daughter nor I could think of anything off the tops of our heads, when there is so much conflict and arguing everyday, it's hard to see the good. She unfortunalty is an angel in school, unfortuante that over the past 5 years, no one has believed me about her behaviors which has made it hard to get help. What is difficult child?
    Maybe the school could provide a tutor at home on the days he doesn't go to school.
  3. tessaturtle

    tessaturtle New Member

    Hey there,
    SOunds like our situation since Oct. The oppositional behaviors and melt downs just kept getting worse and worse. easy child was feeling it, I was feeling it, SO started to finally feel it. One day, it just got too much and after months of being encouraged by difficult child's therapist to bring him in for an evaluation for admission (to the psychiatric hospital) I begged SO to do it because I just could not take it anymore. Not to mention what it must have felt like for him, but our household was just falling apart. He's there now and getting stabilized for another go of things. This is his third admission in 4 years. I think with some difficult child's, that is just the way it is going to have to be. psychiatric hospital admission every now and then to stabilize so they, and everyone around them, can have a somewhat normal life.
    my thoughts are with you!
  4. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    My difficult child is also rough but I haven't had to experience her to this extreme (yet!) Just wanted to send out some ((hugs)) and to say I know how you must feel and I'm so sorry it's been so rough lately! We all know the drill, you curl up into a ball to gather the strength for the next battle. It does get depressing and stressful, it feels like it's beating you down. You're not beat - you're tired. It's OK to not like difficult child at times and it's ok to be frustrated with the whole situation. Give yourself enough time to regroup. Again - sorry you're having to deal with all this right now