Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
At a low point
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="healinginside" data-source="post: 765322" data-attributes="member: 29962"><p>UPDATE on the drama:</p><p></p><p>I spent about four days crying. </p><p></p><p>This felt worse than my mom passing. If anyone can understand - it felt like my life's work and reputation had been erased. </p><p></p><p>When he was arrested, I visited my doctor and got a prescription for something to help with acute anxiety (a mother's helper). I finally took one and it quieted me enough to get my balance again. I think I cried all that I could at that time. </p><p></p><p>I'm still deeply struggling - NOT that my son is in jail, but that someone will come up to my daughter at school and say, "Is your brother in JAIL???" (yes, high school girls can be the worst). I had a conversation with my daughter about it. I felt she needed to be prepared in case she was confronted when she wasn't expecting it. We went over what she would say.</p><p></p><p>We chose NOT to tell our son about his picture being spread around bc we were worried it would cause a mental health crisis in jail for him (he already has enough of those). We felt there was nothing he could do about it from jail. Was that the right decision?</p><p></p><p>Word is still spreading. My son had permitted me, when he was in jail, to check his social media accounts to make sure everything was ok. I had not done this until this incident and when I did, I saw that it was his closest female friend that was spreading it. She hardly had the time of day for him when he was struggling and now well, she is all up in our business. Everyone loves a scandal and to see others fall - it helps them feel better about their lives. I did not confront her or anything like that. </p><p></p><p>No one super close to us knows yet. Trust me - they will come to me when they know. </p><p></p><p>So, last weekend my son asked me to talk to his public defender about going into a sober living house or a drug treatment program so he could get bond. The public defender said yes, if he went into a drug treatment program, he could get a bond for it. When I went back to my son with this, he said he doesn't belong in drug treatment, that he has been doing well on his drug recovery, and wants a sober living house. I'm at a loss for what to do. </p><p></p><p>About 90% of me wants to just play dumb and say this is all out of my control and there is nothing I can do about getting you into drug treatment. The other 10% would like to investigate further, try to convince him to go into a drug treatment center, and let this be his first step of redemption. I know if I write and tell him that, if he goes, he will get bonded, he will probably go. I do not know if a treatment center will accept him with his insurance paying for it without him TESTING POSITIVE for drugs. That could be a problem. Anyone with inside on this, please let me know. </p><p></p><p>He is not going to have a good outcome if he doesn't have support when he is released. I am the only person he has left in this world. He's burnt every bridge. I could get an extra job, and save for a place for him and a car. I feel like if I don't do this, I am being selfish. Or now am I the one being delusional? </p><p></p><p>I cannot thank each of you enough for your support, advice, patience, and understanding. </p><p></p><p>I would not have made it through the last week without you! You ALL are my LIGHTHOUSE in the storm.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="healinginside, post: 765322, member: 29962"] UPDATE on the drama: I spent about four days crying. This felt worse than my mom passing. If anyone can understand - it felt like my life's work and reputation had been erased. When he was arrested, I visited my doctor and got a prescription for something to help with acute anxiety (a mother's helper). I finally took one and it quieted me enough to get my balance again. I think I cried all that I could at that time. I'm still deeply struggling - NOT that my son is in jail, but that someone will come up to my daughter at school and say, "Is your brother in JAIL???" (yes, high school girls can be the worst). I had a conversation with my daughter about it. I felt she needed to be prepared in case she was confronted when she wasn't expecting it. We went over what she would say. We chose NOT to tell our son about his picture being spread around bc we were worried it would cause a mental health crisis in jail for him (he already has enough of those). We felt there was nothing he could do about it from jail. Was that the right decision? Word is still spreading. My son had permitted me, when he was in jail, to check his social media accounts to make sure everything was ok. I had not done this until this incident and when I did, I saw that it was his closest female friend that was spreading it. She hardly had the time of day for him when he was struggling and now well, she is all up in our business. Everyone loves a scandal and to see others fall - it helps them feel better about their lives. I did not confront her or anything like that. No one super close to us knows yet. Trust me - they will come to me when they know. So, last weekend my son asked me to talk to his public defender about going into a sober living house or a drug treatment program so he could get bond. The public defender said yes, if he went into a drug treatment program, he could get a bond for it. When I went back to my son with this, he said he doesn't belong in drug treatment, that he has been doing well on his drug recovery, and wants a sober living house. I'm at a loss for what to do. About 90% of me wants to just play dumb and say this is all out of my control and there is nothing I can do about getting you into drug treatment. The other 10% would like to investigate further, try to convince him to go into a drug treatment center, and let this be his first step of redemption. I know if I write and tell him that, if he goes, he will get bonded, he will probably go. I do not know if a treatment center will accept him with his insurance paying for it without him TESTING POSITIVE for drugs. That could be a problem. Anyone with inside on this, please let me know. He is not going to have a good outcome if he doesn't have support when he is released. I am the only person he has left in this world. He's burnt every bridge. I could get an extra job, and save for a place for him and a car. I feel like if I don't do this, I am being selfish. Or now am I the one being delusional? I cannot thank each of you enough for your support, advice, patience, and understanding. I would not have made it through the last week without you! You ALL are my LIGHTHOUSE in the storm. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
At a low point
Top