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<blockquote data-quote="espy" data-source="post: 100113" data-attributes="member: 4347"><p>Our difficult child's behavior: Extremely Defiant at school and his home; Very Manipulative; Never his fault; Lies constantly; Sells items for a little of nothing to make a friend; Is a follower (he has not fallen into the drug or alcohol scene yet but I know it's only a matter of time hence the reason we are trying so hard to do "something" with him; he gets bullied but is also a bully himself; consequences mean nothing to him, one example: my sister has gone to the extremes of completely emptying his room out and leaving just his bed and bedding in there and told him that he would have to earn his items back, the first two days were wonderful and it seemed as though it was working, then he literally quit trying again and things went right back to their normal; he destroys things on occasion, from cutting up a brand new pair of Levis to writing on his wall or destroying other objects just because he can; when he was younger I had caught him being extremely cruel to their animal but have not witnessed anything like that since. today will be a rerun of past thanksgiving's and holidays and our difficult child will eventually get spoken too or scolded for being disrespectful and he will then pull out his "manipulative or con artist card" or play the "victim" card and my sister will start crying (what are the holdiays without a little family scarring, lol.....sorry, but sometimes a little lol is all we have) as for evaluations: he has had a few: on the last evaluation, they told us he was borderline bi-polar but didn't recommend any medications because he was "borderline"?. the evaluations prior to that resulted in ODD and ADHD ....sooo I am not really sure if he has had a neuro evaluation or what that is? My biggest fear with difficult child is that he doesn't seem to feel remorse...yes he goes through the motions or emotions, but I think he does it because he has seen it done, not because he truly feels remorse or sadness, but because its the expected "norm" if that makes any sense. I have read quite a few of the posts, learned a lot and am totally amazed at the support and knowledge everyone offers, not to mention that "holy cow" we aren't alone. I did come across an abbreviation that I am not aware of and that is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)? I sincerely thank you for your response and am whole heartedly glad I stumbled across this site (my sister(s) and I search the intranet daily for ideas, books and anything under the sun that we think could lend a hand) the last thing my sister came across was the "Total transformation" and that cost her a pretty penny.....but in the end, even after following all the instructions, we ended up back at the beginning with him. Again..have a wonderful thanksgiving and thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="espy, post: 100113, member: 4347"] Our difficult child's behavior: Extremely Defiant at school and his home; Very Manipulative; Never his fault; Lies constantly; Sells items for a little of nothing to make a friend; Is a follower (he has not fallen into the drug or alcohol scene yet but I know it's only a matter of time hence the reason we are trying so hard to do "something" with him; he gets bullied but is also a bully himself; consequences mean nothing to him, one example: my sister has gone to the extremes of completely emptying his room out and leaving just his bed and bedding in there and told him that he would have to earn his items back, the first two days were wonderful and it seemed as though it was working, then he literally quit trying again and things went right back to their normal; he destroys things on occasion, from cutting up a brand new pair of Levis to writing on his wall or destroying other objects just because he can; when he was younger I had caught him being extremely cruel to their animal but have not witnessed anything like that since. today will be a rerun of past thanksgiving's and holidays and our difficult child will eventually get spoken too or scolded for being disrespectful and he will then pull out his "manipulative or con artist card" or play the "victim" card and my sister will start crying (what are the holdiays without a little family scarring, lol.....sorry, but sometimes a little lol is all we have) as for evaluations: he has had a few: on the last evaluation, they told us he was borderline bi-polar but didn't recommend any medications because he was "borderline"?. the evaluations prior to that resulted in ODD and ADHD ....sooo I am not really sure if he has had a neuro evaluation or what that is? My biggest fear with difficult child is that he doesn't seem to feel remorse...yes he goes through the motions or emotions, but I think he does it because he has seen it done, not because he truly feels remorse or sadness, but because its the expected "norm" if that makes any sense. I have read quite a few of the posts, learned a lot and am totally amazed at the support and knowledge everyone offers, not to mention that "holy cow" we aren't alone. I did come across an abbreviation that I am not aware of and that is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)? I sincerely thank you for your response and am whole heartedly glad I stumbled across this site (my sister(s) and I search the intranet daily for ideas, books and anything under the sun that we think could lend a hand) the last thing my sister came across was the "Total transformation" and that cost her a pretty penny.....but in the end, even after following all the instructions, we ended up back at the beginning with him. Again..have a wonderful thanksgiving and thank you. [/QUOTE]
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