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At his lowest ebb.
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<blockquote data-quote="blackgnat" data-source="post: 685715" data-attributes="member: 13561"><p>Thanks, all. Well, things just turn on a dime, don't they? It's 9 days since my original post and we've been up and down like a roller coaster.</p><p></p><p>A couple of days after that call, I got another one to say that he is pretty much guaranteed to get a one bedroom apartment. He'll have to pay some rent, and fill out paperwork, but should be in there soon. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and start crying. Finally!</p><p></p><p>Couple of days go by, he's dropping the ball. Doesn't have some things he needs, even though he has been told to get these things for over a YEAR, in some cases. Ex gfs mom is helping him, but there's not much she can do if he stands her up for whatever reasons.</p><p></p><p>I get another call yesterday. He was only missing ONE paper and managed to get hold of it, but when he tried to get his Colorado ID, they wouldn't accept it and he has to go through something called an Exceptions Process, which involves more paper chasing. He called from exgfs mom's phone and was angry and hostile. Told me he'd been denied the ID yet again and then snarled, "Are you going to send me some money? I need to get effed up." I said No and he hung up the phone.</p><p></p><p>Called exgfs mom and she said that she is still willing to help him get his paperwork done, but that she still has this conviction that he doesn't WANT any of this help. She said he pretty much told her that himself , before she dropped him off at the hangout of the city drunks. He didn't want to be dropped at the shelter, despite not knowing where he was going to sleep last night. He has been advised, at the Mental Health place, which is instrumental in getting him the apartment, not to "blow it", which suggests to me that they can also see him dragging his heels about all this. </p><p></p><p>Exgfs mom thinks that he just wants everything handed to him, without making any efforts...</p><p></p><p>So, I had a craptastic sleep, worrying about him, knowing he was drinking and drugging last night, on the streets, completely and mysteriously lacking motivation to get the papers he needs for him to have a ROOF OVER HIS HEAD. I think he is just done with it all, once again.</p><p></p><p>Again, I talked to my sister and she said, " He always wants you to know when things are going badly, like he doesn't want anyone else to be happy. it's a form of cruelty, because he knows you're going to worry about him".</p><p></p><p>This could well be. He was pretty horrible on the phone, just trying to get money from me. No pleasantries, nothing but demands and rudeness. Things like this are good for me in a way, because it shows me how low down I am on the totem pole, as it were. No money fro Ma to get me wasted? Hmm, not gonna spend any more time with HER...</p><p></p><p>So, back at square one...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackgnat, post: 685715, member: 13561"] Thanks, all. Well, things just turn on a dime, don't they? It's 9 days since my original post and we've been up and down like a roller coaster. A couple of days after that call, I got another one to say that he is pretty much guaranteed to get a one bedroom apartment. He'll have to pay some rent, and fill out paperwork, but should be in there soon. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and start crying. Finally! Couple of days go by, he's dropping the ball. Doesn't have some things he needs, even though he has been told to get these things for over a YEAR, in some cases. Ex gfs mom is helping him, but there's not much she can do if he stands her up for whatever reasons. I get another call yesterday. He was only missing ONE paper and managed to get hold of it, but when he tried to get his Colorado ID, they wouldn't accept it and he has to go through something called an Exceptions Process, which involves more paper chasing. He called from exgfs mom's phone and was angry and hostile. Told me he'd been denied the ID yet again and then snarled, "Are you going to send me some money? I need to get effed up." I said No and he hung up the phone. Called exgfs mom and she said that she is still willing to help him get his paperwork done, but that she still has this conviction that he doesn't WANT any of this help. She said he pretty much told her that himself , before she dropped him off at the hangout of the city drunks. He didn't want to be dropped at the shelter, despite not knowing where he was going to sleep last night. He has been advised, at the Mental Health place, which is instrumental in getting him the apartment, not to "blow it", which suggests to me that they can also see him dragging his heels about all this. Exgfs mom thinks that he just wants everything handed to him, without making any efforts... So, I had a craptastic sleep, worrying about him, knowing he was drinking and drugging last night, on the streets, completely and mysteriously lacking motivation to get the papers he needs for him to have a ROOF OVER HIS HEAD. I think he is just done with it all, once again. Again, I talked to my sister and she said, " He always wants you to know when things are going badly, like he doesn't want anyone else to be happy. it's a form of cruelty, because he knows you're going to worry about him". This could well be. He was pretty horrible on the phone, just trying to get money from me. No pleasantries, nothing but demands and rudeness. Things like this are good for me in a way, because it shows me how low down I am on the totem pole, as it were. No money fro Ma to get me wasted? Hmm, not gonna spend any more time with HER... So, back at square one... [/QUOTE]
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