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At least he is honest
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 481307" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>That comment is too good. In fact we had one like that last night... he said, do you know why I did that mom? and I said well, maybe... He said, "do you think I was just seeking attention?" (he usually forms statements in question form) UMMM where do you think he heard that.</p><p></p><p>Janet, I hear what you are saying. I dont think it is all or none. Logical to clean up the paper....that is a skill that is learnable. Now, to say you get in trouble for stating something in a way that expresses feellings, dramatic or not, should not be punished. He should be taught the appropriate kinds of responses and why this doesn't work. Mom did start to do that. A consequence would not solve that problem. I dont take Ross Green to say that there should be no consequences. Not from the professional books I have bought of his either. I have taken it to mean that punishment when a child does not have the skills to do better in the first place will solve nothing. So, for those kids who do not improve when you have tried the traditional way (and I do take issue with suspensions as a consequence for many kids) what do you do? Keep banging heads against walls and getting madder and madder that the kid can't do what he can't do??? </p><p></p><p>This is my take on it anyway and I have had q in a school that did use these ideas and he did better but that was elem and he had to go to middle school. I have included ideas from ross green in several emails to our behavior team wondering if we can try this or that....I mean, they ask so I am going to share. </p><p></p><p>I agree that kids do need to learn there are consequences to actions. but they have to be able to make the connection and to have the skills to change. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>does that help a little.? I am not an expert in this and the therapy book I have of his was overwhelming at first. I can't even think of where it is right now.... I think it is super important for kids to learn rules, limits, that consequences will happen. But for so many of the kids who are difficult child's, traditional approaches may help them stop a behavior for the minute, but then the kids are still at a loss for what to do. For so many traditional, punishment kinds of approaches have been tried and where had it gotten them? Punished more, in trouble more, and still without the skills to do better. Nothing is magic. But this does help fill in and offer true hope for those kids who need a new approach.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 481307, member: 12886"] That comment is too good. In fact we had one like that last night... he said, do you know why I did that mom? and I said well, maybe... He said, "do you think I was just seeking attention?" (he usually forms statements in question form) UMMM where do you think he heard that. Janet, I hear what you are saying. I dont think it is all or none. Logical to clean up the paper....that is a skill that is learnable. Now, to say you get in trouble for stating something in a way that expresses feellings, dramatic or not, should not be punished. He should be taught the appropriate kinds of responses and why this doesn't work. Mom did start to do that. A consequence would not solve that problem. I dont take Ross Green to say that there should be no consequences. Not from the professional books I have bought of his either. I have taken it to mean that punishment when a child does not have the skills to do better in the first place will solve nothing. So, for those kids who do not improve when you have tried the traditional way (and I do take issue with suspensions as a consequence for many kids) what do you do? Keep banging heads against walls and getting madder and madder that the kid can't do what he can't do??? This is my take on it anyway and I have had q in a school that did use these ideas and he did better but that was elem and he had to go to middle school. I have included ideas from ross green in several emails to our behavior team wondering if we can try this or that....I mean, they ask so I am going to share. I agree that kids do need to learn there are consequences to actions. but they have to be able to make the connection and to have the skills to change. does that help a little.? I am not an expert in this and the therapy book I have of his was overwhelming at first. I can't even think of where it is right now.... I think it is super important for kids to learn rules, limits, that consequences will happen. But for so many of the kids who are difficult child's, traditional approaches may help them stop a behavior for the minute, but then the kids are still at a loss for what to do. For so many traditional, punishment kinds of approaches have been tried and where had it gotten them? Punished more, in trouble more, and still without the skills to do better. Nothing is magic. But this does help fill in and offer true hope for those kids who need a new approach. [/QUOTE]
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