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At least he is honest
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 481370" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Cubsgirl,</p><p>I don't think your boy will learn anything from the teachers consequences. He has learned more in the processing with you. I do use Ross Greenes approach at school. Found it too late to have much effect here at home. I agree that kids must be taught the appropriate skills. Some kids, esp. those with issues, just seem to not pick up on these skills without some direct teaching. Involving strong willed kids in the process helps take some of the battle away. I have to say, since difficult child has been home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I have tried to use it with her and she refuses to even sit and work things out. She has absolutely no respect for our parental authority. The party has to be willing to sit through the process. Once teens get to the stage mine and klmo's and some of the others have gone to, nothing works. You can't ground 'em. They just leave when you are not looking and if you try to stop them it can get physical. You take the phone away, they just go use someone elses. You give a work detail? Just try to make 'em do it! You give them no money or permission to go to a movie or somewhere fun, they steal from you and go anyway.When it gets down to brass knuckles-some of our older kids absolutely possess the skills and absoltely will not use them. They are driven by desires, addictions, that they cannot/will not get a hold of in the real world. <strong>There is no one stop shopping for any of our kids</strong>. Humans are too complex for that. I count myself as a skilled mother and have much training with children who have behavioral/emotional problems-look where it has gotten me in my own home. The bottom line-You can only change yourself and hope what you do has some effect on your child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 481370, member: 11001"] Cubsgirl, I don't think your boy will learn anything from the teachers consequences. He has learned more in the processing with you. I do use Ross Greenes approach at school. Found it too late to have much effect here at home. I agree that kids must be taught the appropriate skills. Some kids, esp. those with issues, just seem to not pick up on these skills without some direct teaching. Involving strong willed kids in the process helps take some of the battle away. I have to say, since difficult child has been home from Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I have tried to use it with her and she refuses to even sit and work things out. She has absolutely no respect for our parental authority. The party has to be willing to sit through the process. Once teens get to the stage mine and klmo's and some of the others have gone to, nothing works. You can't ground 'em. They just leave when you are not looking and if you try to stop them it can get physical. You take the phone away, they just go use someone elses. You give a work detail? Just try to make 'em do it! You give them no money or permission to go to a movie or somewhere fun, they steal from you and go anyway.When it gets down to brass knuckles-some of our older kids absolutely possess the skills and absoltely will not use them. They are driven by desires, addictions, that they cannot/will not get a hold of in the real world. [B]There is no one stop shopping for any of our kids[/B]. Humans are too complex for that. I count myself as a skilled mother and have much training with children who have behavioral/emotional problems-look where it has gotten me in my own home. The bottom line-You can only change yourself and hope what you do has some effect on your child. [/QUOTE]
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