Welcome the the board. It sure sounds like you can benefit as the rest of us members have, from the support of parents who have been there done that. Just having an outlet for yourself can be such a huge relief.
I had a thought about the lack of access to services, inability to really document her behaviors etc.
I see why you are homeschooling at this point. And I see that the school she was at had been ready to remove her. I am in Canada do our systems are wry different. But after more than 10 years with this board I have learned so much about the various systems across the US.
What are your states policies for mandatory education provision? I ask for a very good reason. So obviously when in school she was not performing, given that the school was ready to expel her. So the homeschooling was probsbly at that time a logical next step in attempting to find a solution to the situation. However it sounds as though due to her issues, homeschooling is not working and in that, there may be a frustrating yet perhaps worthwhile solution now available.
If your state has good laws governing education, it may be best to enroll her ASAP. Schools have access to therapists, assessments and specialist evaluations. Given your lack of insurance this may enable you to access services currently out of your reach.
Of course one would portray enrolling her as the obvious concern that she needs education (and by law you must ensure she receives it and homeschooling is failing meaning you probsbly are obligated to change the situation). You need not initially express the fact that her education is basket C right now and that you would be enrolling her in order to access much needed services (basket A!!).
After a short time enrolled, likely they will yet again have concerns. If you find a local patent advocate and brush up on your areas laws of what the school must provide, you probably won't need to wait long before the school is all over her issues and you can then actively pursue access to school funded resources.
This will also allow some down time while she attend school. If course if she is truant you have a new stressor. However it would also allow the school to recognize they may not have services to manage her issues in their environment. I have read so much here over the years that many states require the school then fund alternate programming, including Residential Treatment Center (RTC). If you go into the school system again prepared that she will likely be truant and likely have discipline and academic problems, it may help you to cope through those dramas if you accept from the get go that this was not really done believing she will do well at school, that this was merely a stepping stone to offer you access to services. It also would help by building a relationship with you and the system to show your commitment to your daughters mental health and to allow others to document how extreme her lies are about you. This can offer you protecting against possible allegations by her.
I realize that no parent would want to dive back into school problems given that they were so bad the schools were washing their hands. However if your school system has the policies of being required to find appropriate other programs for challenging students, it sounds a lot better than how it is currently. Right now you are without resources, unable to provide proper educatiOn due to her issues, and are probably unable to see what steps might be available now.
