At my wits end . . .

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by peachybear25, Oct 14, 2008.

  1. peachybear25

    peachybear25 New Member

    I am - of course - new to this site. I don't know where to turn. I am a single mom of a 6yr old girl. She has been diagnosed with ADHD/ODD and the Dr. also thinks that she has Tourette's. I have no one where I live that I can talk to.

    She goes to a therapist every other week and has been for about 2 years (it does't really seem to be working, but I keep bringing her so she has someone to talk to).

    I have tried TONS of different medications for her (clonidine, medatate, daytrana, strattera )- and most recently vyvanse. I never know if they are working, because I can't get her to take them consistently. It becomes WW3 in my house in the morning trying to get her to take her medications. I know they would help her if she would take them, but I can't get her to do it. I have been given ways to try and get her to take them and it doesn't work (ice cream, soda, every kind of juice on the planet - I have even tried bribery - toys and money). She WON"T take them. I don't know what to do anymore. I get so angry with her, and I know that it is accomplishing nothing, but I can't let her win either.

    Does anyone have ANY suggestions? I am tired of crying.

    Thanks,
    Teresa
     
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Is Vyvanse the medication you are trying to get her to take now? For those of us who have not used Vyvanse, can you tell me what form the medication is? Pill, liquid, do you need to cut dose in half? .....

    What is it about the medicaion she does not like? Swallowing, tasteing, ect.

    Or has this just become a power struggle for her?

    Maybe including her in part of the plan to take the medication? Can she help choose the time to take it (before or after or during breakfast?) If you split a pill, she may like to help with that.

    Before bed, I put difficult child's medication in a tiny Dixie cup. Maybe she can go shopping for her special medication cups. (You can recycle them if it is pills being "served".)

    Try to stay very calm and matter of fact. "Here is your medications for this morning" Have the medication in an area that you can watch from afar when she takes it. If she has not taken it by the time you leave the house, "Oops, I see you haven't found time to take your medications yet. What do you need to take it?" (try to get whatever it is no matter how goofy the request such as "I need my Barbie doll". you wil surprise her in agreeing and helping in that area) or "Let me know when you have taken your medications so that I can help you pack your school bag." Try taking the "power struggle" part out of the equation.

    I know this has been a topic here before and there are a lot of great ideas on their way. The answers to the above might help find some answers also.
     
  3. jesshas?s

    jesshas?s Guest

    If it makes you feel any better, I am standing there at wits end with you and just picture us both sobbing together...lol :)

    I have a 6 yr old almost 7 which has anxiety, possibly depression, she's irritable, and hard to get along with. As far as the medications, I understand that too! When having to give my difficult child Tylenol she has spit it out in the floor many times. I will be completely honest with you, this website has been one of the best and most helpful websites to me and I highly reccommend it to anyone I speak to about "any" situation that has to do with a child!!!! Whats better than speaking with a very large and variety of parents with so many different issues! Hun, you have found your sanity with this website!

    Give some specific details about her problems. What type of Dr's has she seen? How long has this been going on?

    I hope to talk to you again soon! I don't have a computer at my house, its at my moms so it may be a few weeks before I respond to anything.

    Good luck to you!
    Jessica
     
  4. Pookybear66

    Pookybear66 New Member

    Teresa-I would like to say welcome. My son takes medications for allergies and asthma. He takes them fine. However, when he was younger he would not take anything. Like for ear infection, cold, etc. He would fight till we had to hold him down sometimes and then because he was so worked up, he would vomit shortly after. Sometimes just the smell or slight taste would make him do that. Eventually we got stuff into him and again he was like 2 or 3. However, now that he is older we have discovered he has a bad gag reflex and just can't take things well. Pills don't work for him. He must get liquids and then uses tricks.
    Some other tricks for cutting taste are a lick of lollipop to change the taste, or sucking on a ice cube or popsicle to numb the tongue. We also swish a bit of water after to get rid of the taste. And of course there is brushing your teeth afterwards.

    I'm not any sort of expert but just wanted to offer some support and other ideas. Maybe find out why she doesn't like them. If it's taste or gag or something then if possible try another form of medications or some of the new tricks I mentioned. Some pharmacies even flavor liquids now. Check into that too if possible.
    Maybe she is just scared. Find an unrelated time to sit and talk with her. Also to keep your own sanity, a book that's highly recommended on this site and one I am currently reading (I just joined a few weeks back) is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene.

    Best wishes and hang in there. There are some great and helpful people here to help whenever you need it.
     
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Teresa,

    welcome to the board! Sounds like your little girl is extrememly strong willed for a 6 year old! I'm glad you have found your way here - one of the most wonderful things about finding this site is the knowledge that you are not alone.

    If the therapist is not helping - and I would imagine he/she has given you a miriad of suggestions regarding the medications, then it may be time to try something else. You know, this medication thing with our children is trial by error. If the stimulants are not helping, perhaps you are dealing with something else. If the stims are making her more angry, then you may be dealing with something else. Looks like she has been on stims and then something to try and "calm" her a bit.

    Has she ever had a full evaluation like a multidisciplinary evaluation or seen a neurologist? What type of doctor diagnosis'd your daughter. Is she just on the stimulant right now?

    One of the things that many, many parents have tried here regarding medication refusal is what we call "stop the world". In other words, everything (and I mean everything) stops until she takes the medications. Have you discussed with her therapists whether there may be some anxiety or biological reason for the refusal or have you and doctor decided it is simple refusal?

    Sorry about all the questions, but it's always like that with a new member - we want to get to know the situation. When you have a chance, there are two good things you can do. First, go to the library or hit the Amazon link here and pick up a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene - it's kinda like the cd bible around here! Second, hit the user cp link at the upper left of the page and do a profile signature like you see on our posts. It will help us remember all the facts.

    Again, glad to have you with us.

    Sharon
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Is she seeing a Neurologist for the Tourettes? From what I've read (not an expert...lol) Tourettes kids are much more likely to suffer from mental illness, such as mood disorders and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) behavior. It seems to be part of the Tourettes. I'd first see if she has it. Then I'd see a neuropsychologist to test for the other disorders. They tend to do much more intensive testing than other professionals and really, REALLY get to the root cause of what's going on. Often a diagnosis. of ADHD/ODD is really a mood disorder or even something else. That was my son's first diagnosis, hardly his last, but he is doing really well now. Welcome to the board :)
     
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Adding in my welcome, glad you found us. Ah the medication problem is one I have fought often with my difficult child. When he was about your daughter's age it was horrible. For him it was a power struggle because we too tried everything, he could take with ice cream, he could earn stuff, etc...

    We had to basically tell him what LDM said, nothing happens until those medications are taken. It was a long road but at least for now he is very medication compliant. I never thought I would see the day. There are actually times when he will ask if it's time for his medications.
     
  8. peachybear25

    peachybear25 New Member

    Thank you all for your suggestions. To answer a few questions, she is currently taking Vyvanse. - when I can get it in her. She won the battle this morning. I have been strong for two weeks, but I couldn't do it today. Last night and this morning she has taken up hitting and kicking. :sad-very: I take her to a child psychologist (can't perscribe medications) so she has someone to talk to and workthought issues with. The medications are being perscribed by a child specialist at our clinic's behavior management department. I am really starting to dislike the man - but he knows his stuff and is very highly recommended and a pain to get an appointment with. I truely think that he doesn't believe me when I save she won't take it. He is the one that is saying she has Tourette's (he is a specialist with that too), but can't give her an 'official' diagnosis until she has had symptoms for a year? or something of that sort. I am kind of flying my the seat of my pants with that one. All I know is that when her ticks start - it really freaks me out.

    With the medications. I have tried sticker charts - no go. Ice cream worked for about a week last year. Pudding - hit or miss. Every drink under the sun - hit or miss. I know that the medications don't taste too - I have tried it (sometimes I think that I get more than her). I did talk with her teacher today though. They would like to try to give it too her at school in the morning. I am game for anything. We will see if she will do it for them. I have started taking things away from her. She did get a little violent when she couldn't play with the Wii last night. But, it gets to the point where she doesn't care if I take things away either. She just says fine and walks away. Boy - that stubborn gene is a good one.

    I hope this info helps.
     
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