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At my wit's end
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<blockquote data-quote="RndaWns" data-source="post: 581712" data-attributes="member: 13452"><p>I have a friend who has loaned me a few books on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (Reactive Attachment Disorder, if I'm remembering correctly). It's ironic, but she ended up with custody of a boy who is one year younger than J and it seems like we're usually going through the same things, just a few months apart. My friend had her boy in attachment therapy, along with several other types of treatments. Who knows what's worked and what hasn't when you're doing 3-4 things at a time? I do know that J feels zero attachment for his bio-mom (by the time he was 4 - 4 1/2, he refused to get on the phone with her because she'd missed too many of her scheduled phone visits). When his sisters have each moved out/moved on to their own lives, he never says he misses them or asks about them. T moved across the country after she got married and she seemed to be his favorite because she's a peace-keeper by nature, but he never really wants to talk to her either. I do make him talk to his sisters (and his one brother, who I did not get custody of), but he's very detached. He also absolutely HATES to be touched. Until a couple of years ago, I'd hug him before bed and when he was much younger, he had to follow the same rule as all of the girls (had to give hugs before bed), but he'd just stiffen up and could barely bring himself to pat the other person on the back. I had hoped he'd outgrow that, but I don't see it happening. </p><p></p><p>He had to have surgery two weeks ago for a broken arm, and as they were knocking him out, I was able to sneak in one kiss on the forehead and I realized that's the first time he's "allowed" me to kiss him or show any physical affection in years and years. It's so sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RndaWns, post: 581712, member: 13452"] I have a friend who has loaned me a few books on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (Reactive Attachment Disorder, if I'm remembering correctly). It's ironic, but she ended up with custody of a boy who is one year younger than J and it seems like we're usually going through the same things, just a few months apart. My friend had her boy in attachment therapy, along with several other types of treatments. Who knows what's worked and what hasn't when you're doing 3-4 things at a time? I do know that J feels zero attachment for his bio-mom (by the time he was 4 - 4 1/2, he refused to get on the phone with her because she'd missed too many of her scheduled phone visits). When his sisters have each moved out/moved on to their own lives, he never says he misses them or asks about them. T moved across the country after she got married and she seemed to be his favorite because she's a peace-keeper by nature, but he never really wants to talk to her either. I do make him talk to his sisters (and his one brother, who I did not get custody of), but he's very detached. He also absolutely HATES to be touched. Until a couple of years ago, I'd hug him before bed and when he was much younger, he had to follow the same rule as all of the girls (had to give hugs before bed), but he'd just stiffen up and could barely bring himself to pat the other person on the back. I had hoped he'd outgrow that, but I don't see it happening. He had to have surgery two weeks ago for a broken arm, and as they were knocking him out, I was able to sneak in one kiss on the forehead and I realized that's the first time he's "allowed" me to kiss him or show any physical affection in years and years. It's so sad. [/QUOTE]
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