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At My Witt's End
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 757060" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>I do limit my contact with him and have become very careful about what I say or ask. To be honest, he's actually done better than we expected. There have just been a few occasions when he's mouthed off but it wasn't a threatening or scary thing. I have come to the decision that, for however long he will be with us, I am going to limit my contact with him and just work on being polite, almost as if he were a stranger staying in our home. I have come to realize that he does not have the capability of caring for anyone other than himself, at least the way he is right now. </p><p></p><p></p><p>This is something that I may need to do in the future. He's saying that he will not be moving with us once we move this summer (it's on hold due to the virus mess). I was hoping he would move with us, stay just long enough to get a job and place of his own, and then move out but be in the same area. He says he will not be moving with us though. I'm hoping he will not be returning to Denver. That would only put us all right back in the same situation, and I am enjoying not having to have the anxiety and text-driven abuse we had the last two years. But if he decides to go out on his own and go somewhere other than where we are, I will have to make a decision about whether to have contact with him or not. I won't go through it again. </p><p></p><p></p><p> I would never have imagined that things would be this way, 30 years ago. But I guess all of us would say that same thing. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I think our longing to have a loving, healthy relationship with our child overtakes us in those moments when they are being "nice" and we give in to it. But, at least in our case, it's just an illusion. There is no real relationship because our son is not capable of having a relationship with anyone right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 757060, member: 22597"] I do limit my contact with him and have become very careful about what I say or ask. To be honest, he's actually done better than we expected. There have just been a few occasions when he's mouthed off but it wasn't a threatening or scary thing. I have come to the decision that, for however long he will be with us, I am going to limit my contact with him and just work on being polite, almost as if he were a stranger staying in our home. I have come to realize that he does not have the capability of caring for anyone other than himself, at least the way he is right now. This is something that I may need to do in the future. He's saying that he will not be moving with us once we move this summer (it's on hold due to the virus mess). I was hoping he would move with us, stay just long enough to get a job and place of his own, and then move out but be in the same area. He says he will not be moving with us though. I'm hoping he will not be returning to Denver. That would only put us all right back in the same situation, and I am enjoying not having to have the anxiety and text-driven abuse we had the last two years. But if he decides to go out on his own and go somewhere other than where we are, I will have to make a decision about whether to have contact with him or not. I won't go through it again. I would never have imagined that things would be this way, 30 years ago. But I guess all of us would say that same thing. I think our longing to have a loving, healthy relationship with our child overtakes us in those moments when they are being "nice" and we give in to it. But, at least in our case, it's just an illusion. There is no real relationship because our son is not capable of having a relationship with anyone right now. [/QUOTE]
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