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Parent Emeritus
At the end of my rope and just lost...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 630577" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Lil, all we can do is share with you what has worked for most of us. Many of us have been in the exact same position as you have, and we are simply sharing what we did and what worked. You are the only one who knows your son and can see him and hear him and make the choices necessary. If you are not ready to let go and let him deal with the consequences of his own behavior, then that is what you need to do. You don't need to justify your choices to us, we are not judging you, we are giving you our support and our advice based on what has worked for us. If you choose another way, we support that as well. </p><p></p><p>We only respond to the story you tell us and we try to glean out of that what would be supportive of YOU and what we can offer YOU. We understand that it takes quite awhile for all of us to get to a point where we are ready to detach from our kids and let them do whatever it is they need to do to work it out for themselves. If you are not at that point quite yet, or if you are never at that point, that is your choice, we respect that. </p><p></p><p>This is a treacherous and very difficult path. Having troubled kids who are on drugs, who are mentally challenged, who have conduct disorders or who are simply lazy and manipulative, is a nightmare for us, the parents. There is no right way or wrong way, just the way we choose to go at any given time. It is certainly a process and it's a hard one for every single one of us. We aren't experts, we're just parents doing the best we can under extraordinarily challenging circumstances with the people we love the most.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you are suffering, there is a lot of suffering here. I hope your son finds a job and complies with your list, that would be the best case scenario. Who knows, it could happen. If it does, let us know, we love to hear positive outcomes! In the meantime, keep posting, it helps to write it down and get feedback and support. We all really understand how you are feeling Lil. We get it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 630577, member: 13542"] Lil, all we can do is share with you what has worked for most of us. Many of us have been in the exact same position as you have, and we are simply sharing what we did and what worked. You are the only one who knows your son and can see him and hear him and make the choices necessary. If you are not ready to let go and let him deal with the consequences of his own behavior, then that is what you need to do. You don't need to justify your choices to us, we are not judging you, we are giving you our support and our advice based on what has worked for us. If you choose another way, we support that as well. We only respond to the story you tell us and we try to glean out of that what would be supportive of YOU and what we can offer YOU. We understand that it takes quite awhile for all of us to get to a point where we are ready to detach from our kids and let them do whatever it is they need to do to work it out for themselves. If you are not at that point quite yet, or if you are never at that point, that is your choice, we respect that. This is a treacherous and very difficult path. Having troubled kids who are on drugs, who are mentally challenged, who have conduct disorders or who are simply lazy and manipulative, is a nightmare for us, the parents. There is no right way or wrong way, just the way we choose to go at any given time. It is certainly a process and it's a hard one for every single one of us. We aren't experts, we're just parents doing the best we can under extraordinarily challenging circumstances with the people we love the most. I'm sorry you are suffering, there is a lot of suffering here. I hope your son finds a job and complies with your list, that would be the best case scenario. Who knows, it could happen. If it does, let us know, we love to hear positive outcomes! In the meantime, keep posting, it helps to write it down and get feedback and support. We all really understand how you are feeling Lil. We get it. [/QUOTE]
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At the end of my rope and just lost...
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