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At the end of my tether. Am I imagining this?!
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 589113" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hello and welcome to the forum.</p><p>I am British living in France and I understand your frustrations about the UK health system. Some people on the forum have been encouraging me to go back to Britain to get services for my son but I know how much all public services have been put under pressure in recent years and how long the waiting lists are.... <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sigh.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sigh:" title="sigh :sigh:" data-shortname=":sigh:" /> So you have my understanding over that.</p><p>I'm sorry you are finding things so hard with your son. What makes it all much harder, and more tantalising for you, is that his twin sister is such a little angel in comparison... Plus the extra challenge of having two children rather than one to care for, of course. I can tell you that it DOES get better and that you will find ways of accommodating and learning to live with your son's differences, to the benefit of all. But there's a ways to go before you get there. </p><p>In the UK you can get a private neuro-psychologist evaluation for around 300 or 400 pounds. This is very useful for older children and you may want to find out if it is applicable and possible for a 4 year old. It will give you valuable information.</p><p>My son is 6 and ADHD. He has quite a lot in common with yours - impulsive, tantrums, easily frustrated, attention seeking, demanding, little sense of danger (in some ways, in others he is quite practical and responsible). On the other hand, he has empathy for others and has always been very sensitive to my and others' emotions. Each child is so unique and if I had to write a complete description of my son it would include all sorts of things that were positive as well as this list of difficult things - funny, joyful, affectionate, bright and so on. What positive adjectives would you find for your son? In a way, you do have to start doing this... just looking at the negatives and not accepting them will drive you.... crazy, in very short order! Your son is the way he is and though I know how completely challenging and difficult it is, he has things going on for him that he cannot "help".</p><p>So being positive WITH him is also very important. I can't possibly say via internet whether your son is ADHD, on the autism spectrum or whatever, but these children THRIVE on positive reinforcement and being accepted and loved as they are. Difficult, difficult, I know.</p><p>Please get hold of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. And others will have more things to say, I am sure...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 589113, member: 11227"] Hello and welcome to the forum. I am British living in France and I understand your frustrations about the UK health system. Some people on the forum have been encouraging me to go back to Britain to get services for my son but I know how much all public services have been put under pressure in recent years and how long the waiting lists are.... :sigh: So you have my understanding over that. I'm sorry you are finding things so hard with your son. What makes it all much harder, and more tantalising for you, is that his twin sister is such a little angel in comparison... Plus the extra challenge of having two children rather than one to care for, of course. I can tell you that it DOES get better and that you will find ways of accommodating and learning to live with your son's differences, to the benefit of all. But there's a ways to go before you get there. In the UK you can get a private neuro-psychologist evaluation for around 300 or 400 pounds. This is very useful for older children and you may want to find out if it is applicable and possible for a 4 year old. It will give you valuable information. My son is 6 and ADHD. He has quite a lot in common with yours - impulsive, tantrums, easily frustrated, attention seeking, demanding, little sense of danger (in some ways, in others he is quite practical and responsible). On the other hand, he has empathy for others and has always been very sensitive to my and others' emotions. Each child is so unique and if I had to write a complete description of my son it would include all sorts of things that were positive as well as this list of difficult things - funny, joyful, affectionate, bright and so on. What positive adjectives would you find for your son? In a way, you do have to start doing this... just looking at the negatives and not accepting them will drive you.... crazy, in very short order! Your son is the way he is and though I know how completely challenging and difficult it is, he has things going on for him that he cannot "help". So being positive WITH him is also very important. I can't possibly say via internet whether your son is ADHD, on the autism spectrum or whatever, but these children THRIVE on positive reinforcement and being accepted and loved as they are. Difficult, difficult, I know. Please get hold of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. And others will have more things to say, I am sure... [/QUOTE]
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