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At the end of our rope
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 379054" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Hi Tayana,</p><p> </p><p>GET ANOTHER THERAPIST! What a jerk. </p><p> </p><p>Sheesh.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, a lot of your son's behaviors sound familiar. My son is 13 and has issues with-lying, too, but he's much, much better. Frankly, it's easier for these kids to lie. It is less complicated. Ironically, it is more complicated because their lies are so totally stupid they make things worse, and then they have to lie to cover the lies. (Face covered with-chocolate--I didn't eat any chocolate. Why do you say that?) My son also lacks motivation. I just talked to a friend whose Aspie son is 21 and has already had 3 jobs. It's just part of what they've got. Or haven't got, actually. </p><p>It's a neurological issue.</p><p> </p><p>One thing I would suggest is routine, routine, routine. The instant your son gives you or your spouse lip, you have to call him on it, and have an immediate consequence. For many yrs, I had my son write "I am sorry for swearing at you," 50X (or whatever number was appropriate for that issue) b4 he could have any other privileges. No TV, no computer, etc.</p><p> </p><p>Find something your son is interested in. Reading? Computers? That is your leverage.</p><p> </p><p>Also, since his emotional age is much younger (typical of Aspies) don't feel badly about a bit of carrot-and-stick and bribery. We still occasionally give our son Reese's peanut butter cups for rewards. If my parents had done that when I was 13 I would have thought they were nuts, but don't knock anything that works. </p><p> </p><p>I see you have said you have lectured him. Don't bother. He won't listen. Use shorter sentences and immediate, natural consequences. I know that Aspies can have some sociopathic attributes, but they are not sociopaths. </p><p> </p><p>You and your spouse should read LOOK ME IN THE EYE by Robinson and ASPERGER SPECTRUM DISORDERS by Chantal Sicile-Kira. </p><p> </p><p>Don't give up on him yet. I know how hard it is!!!!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 379054, member: 3419"] Hi Tayana, GET ANOTHER THERAPIST! What a jerk. Sheesh. Anyway, a lot of your son's behaviors sound familiar. My son is 13 and has issues with-lying, too, but he's much, much better. Frankly, it's easier for these kids to lie. It is less complicated. Ironically, it is more complicated because their lies are so totally stupid they make things worse, and then they have to lie to cover the lies. (Face covered with-chocolate--I didn't eat any chocolate. Why do you say that?) My son also lacks motivation. I just talked to a friend whose Aspie son is 21 and has already had 3 jobs. It's just part of what they've got. Or haven't got, actually. It's a neurological issue. One thing I would suggest is routine, routine, routine. The instant your son gives you or your spouse lip, you have to call him on it, and have an immediate consequence. For many yrs, I had my son write "I am sorry for swearing at you," 50X (or whatever number was appropriate for that issue) b4 he could have any other privileges. No TV, no computer, etc. Find something your son is interested in. Reading? Computers? That is your leverage. Also, since his emotional age is much younger (typical of Aspies) don't feel badly about a bit of carrot-and-stick and bribery. We still occasionally give our son Reese's peanut butter cups for rewards. If my parents had done that when I was 13 I would have thought they were nuts, but don't knock anything that works. I see you have said you have lectured him. Don't bother. He won't listen. Use shorter sentences and immediate, natural consequences. I know that Aspies can have some sociopathic attributes, but they are not sociopaths. You and your spouse should read LOOK ME IN THE EYE by Robinson and ASPERGER SPECTRUM DISORDERS by Chantal Sicile-Kira. Don't give up on him yet. I know how hard it is!!!!!!! [/QUOTE]
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