at the er pls pray

[Mattsmom277]

Buddy I am praying for your difficult child, you and for a speedy stay with good results.

Same to you TeDo. How hard for both of you. Please update when you both can and remember to take care of your own needs.

 

[buddy]

Well I think your prayers coming from all points of the globe really helped me just stay calm and get business done. For some reason Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) was scheduled so I had someone here just after it all started. he actually ran off (just hid in our elevators and the woods behind the park, small patch in the middle of the complex). Just so happened our neuro called to check on him so she said get him off it. Not worth all of this. I warned him that if he was too out of control to be safe, I was going to call 911 and THAT is when he went nuts. I learned a lesson...just do it, dont warn...I hoped it would make him realize he didn't want a repeat of last wed when police were called, but I didn't take him in because clonidine dose worked. Our plan worked fine...911 /police came then ambulance and he barely moved a muscle, so so scared. one cop was a little weird but nothing too bad. Ambulance folks were awesome and he just walked there. AT ER he kept asking if i would check him out in time for NASCAR tomorrow (hell, it is today now--I just got home and washed up). He kept saying he was going to fake being good so he could come home and beat me up some more. I explained that they went to school for this and they could tell when kids were doing that. he believed me. Nurse at the psychiatric hospital (a very small child/teen specialty hospital) said that was one of the most interesting interviews ever for intake, she said he could not stay on topic and when he did it was so obviously just a made up answer.... BUt when asked why he was there he said, cause of my mom....she said why, and he said, cause I beat her up. Why? because she said she was gonna call 911 and I couldn't play with my friends (not true, he was out with his friends when it started). So nuts. The kids again rallied but I asked them to leave because I think the audience fueled things. They were good kids and left. They are reall worried though. Two neighbors texted me and said they will do whatever I need to help. My big concern is if he has to stay I will not have a pay check. I called to ask my dad if he can help and he said no. So, if I can't pay rent, I will be kicked out. I have no way to get anything else then and except for staying at my sisters, what to do? she lives in another part of the cities and not in his school district and in the old one we left so can't go there. Hopefully this will be short because even if the medications are out by Wednesday I can get 40 hours in on the time card. If they want to do medication adjustment, I and observe they said we can do outpatient too so then I would get paid for the time he is with me. I will of course just lose our house if it means he needs to be there, but another concern is that he is going to love it there. It is a beautiful nice place. I have to say for how much he was angry, he wanted to hold my hand for blood draw and when they asked what relaxes him, he said calling my mom. SO, guess I am not a total waste in his mind. i am going to try to sleep. I cant see him till 11 tomorrow and then only till 2 and again at 6 to8. weekdays can't see them till 6 so I am glad he is there on a weekend. They said they think he will be out mon or tues but we will see. he is on the big kid side for sleep but they have him grouped with the little kids (6-12) because he is smaller than them and of course as developmentally young as the 6-9 yr olds. When I went to kiss him goodnight, he was wrapped up in a blanket with the teddy bear I brought him from home...looked like he was 2. I keep leaking a tear then go numb. I think if I cut loose I wont do as good of a job. oh well. thanks all.... I am going to call tomorrow morning and will check in with you all. TeDo, sending my thoughts to you...hope our guys get over this soon.

 

[JJJ]

Hi Buddy,

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I don't understand why you can't go to work? You will not be allowed to stay with difficult child the whole time; he will be in therapy, group, etc.

Also, who gave you the 48 hour time frame? I'd expect much longer, maybe 5-7 days. They have to get him stable -- where he is not longer wanting to beat you up. Kanga stays were usually 10-14 days.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Buddy, so sorry its come to this...

Surely there is some provision with social services or something in the system, to bridge this sort of gap. It isn't good for your son to become homeless just because he needed to go to the hospital... and really, that's the scenario you are painting. Having the system deal with the fallout will be much more expensive than providing a bridge for you now. Of course, this is logic speaking, and support systems are not necessarily logical.

{{hugs}}

 

[slsh]

Buddy - many hugs to you. I'm so glad that your plan worked well (good job, warrior mom) and that everyone stayed safe. I know how hard it is to go thru this process. He's where he needs to be right now. You need to take care of *you* this weekend.

October is a tough month for a lot of our kids. I think we've come to a consensus over the years that the change in seasons is a huge trigger, though I don't think we've ever figured out exactly why. I know in my mind, the World Series always meant a hospital discharge for thank you. For years, both at home and in RTCs.

I hope they're able to get him stabilized and come up with- a better medication combo or something to smooth things out for you guys.

Hang in there.

 

[buddy]

Hi guys,they called this morning and I was actually asleep! holy cow really a dead sleep. (didn'thappen till 3 but that was 4.5 hours, wow)

JJJ, sorry, I wasn't clear, My job right now is Parent Caregiver to difficult child thru his MA waiver. Only one place can be paid at a time. If he is in the hospital or with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) or anything that ma pays, I can't be paid because it is double billing.

the reason teh docs told me only a few days is because of the half life of the medication. they just want it out of him. I am of course willing for him to stay longer if they feel there is a reason that he needs to be there. It was such a dramatic difference, these behaviors, that of course we are hoping once the medications are out then he will be my difficult child again, not an easy kid but not an impossible kid. I am afraid now that he saw he could really muscle me, no matter why, he may try it again. But he is sitting in his room there (they asked, can he play with the other kids without a 1 on 1...I said, sure you TRY that, but you can't blame him when things go wrong because he just doesn't have the skills to interact appropriately and if those kids are already on edge, Lord help everyone.

In the past if he is in the hospital it is such a picnic for him. He is not my child (never a psychiatric hospital, but for the brain injury, seizures etc.). they gave me his game boy (we used it just to help with transition and they were good with that) and he was pretty shocked he was not going to get to play games all day. But OMG the groups they want him to go to...THAT should be interesting. He will tell them everything is because of penis, poop, boobs, and other baby words....

Luckily they showed me around and there is a GYM...I put my biggest emphasis on that area. HE can't be mainstreammed OR in Special Education gym with other kids. We try and try and the district who says "we dont do 1 on 1 DAPE put him in 1 on 1 DAPE! Whatever little control IS left, he loses when doing gross motor things. He LOVEs it but it is just random play, no following rules and such. They said they like to play dodge ball, that is an assult charge waiting to happen. He can't remember rules and he throws too hard and he will target one kid who laughs or whatever...ug...I hope they believe me. (Not to mention SIDES??? he just doesn't get the whole staying on a side thing).

IC, you know what, his public health nurse told me the county has an emergency fund for things sometimes and if I ever had to move to call her.....I have been on a waiting list for middle income housing for a LONG time. (Do you guys have that, not section 8 but for people who dont qualify for section 8 I think for a family of two it goes from my sad income to up to even like 60 thousand...crazy if I made 60 thousand, I would feel so rich, even in my best employment ever I never came close to that)

I will call and leave a msg. so she calls me back. His 500 adoption assistance continues though, he actually has to be moved out of my care for that. So, we will see. Crazy thing is I had to put more difficult child hours in for this than normal difficult child hours. This certainly is something above and beyond normal parenting which is what I get paid for... anything related to his disability. YIKES. Please GOD

THEY have called twice asking if his concerta dose is REAL. the docs did not want to give it! I said if you dont, you will pay. I reminded them again and again about the exact nature of his enzyme disorder.... They seem really nice and he is being his cute self (no medication last night! ) so I am glad the er saw him spitting mucous at me and threatening me....

 

[shellyd67]

Hugs...

 

[Liahona]

The neighbors did offer to help.... Maybe if enough people go to the landlord asking for him to be flexible with your rent payment it might work? Or they can help you pat rent or like Insanecd said the people in charge of your case could do something to help or Maybe the people in charge of your case could put you at the top of the list for a section 8 housing voucher. I know you don't think of difficult child as an abuser (and I don't either; it is a seizure) but they put the domestic violence cases at the top of the list and difficult child is violent in this case. It really stinks to work with the gov't so much. I understand why landlords don't want to do it, but if everyone in your complex came to him and asked him to let you do a section 8 voucher maybe he would? I'm just thinking and typing at the same time.

Maybe the school (or any school) could have extra Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) work for just a few weeks. Like subbing only Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) style.

 

[keista]

Maybe the school (or any school) could have extra Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) work for just a few weeks. Like subbing only Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) style.

I think that's a great idea. Buddy it's not like no one knows or understands your situation. It is extra stress and work for you when you can deal with it the least, but I think if you just "put your pleas out there" you'll find lots of ppl trying to rally and help you out any way they can.

Sometimes the most difficult thing we have to do is ask for help.

 

[buddy]

I did call my dad and my sisters too. That is really hard for me because I am usually the one who lends money. But, my dad (he loves me but has always treated me differently when it comes to money, even wouldn't do his taxes in time for me to get financial aid without a huge fight...I paid every penny of college and grad school myself) he just helped my baby sister thru the eviction scare and got her car and helped my other sister with moving expenses. He told me he just doesn't have money but that he knows it was hard for me to call. One sister just said not to worry and to have him stay as long as he needs, she said that is what credit cards are for, emergencies. so, hopefully I can just sleep a little better knowing that.

So, is this common??? They JUST gave difficult child his Concerta (remember, this is not just adhd, it is for the brain injury, they said he is in a time out right now for not respecting boundaries...he is a hugger and we are truly working on that, he usually asks and mostly is only doing high fives and fist bumps. But hell, he didn't get the lyrica (seizure medication) or the concerta because they had to wait till they got written scripts. I just dropped off his clothes and am sitting at the coffee shop (thinking I should start a caffine habit but it increases pain for me...) I am just so tired. I will go to my sister's house and take a nap between visiting hours if I can sleep. I have from 2-6 and wont drive that far home, they live about half as far, maybe 20 minutes. I filled with gas, something I never do but I want to be prepared to jump in my car if I have to and go to him. wow, 3.45 a gallon, sigh. At least it went down .10.

YOu guys are unbelievable, I hope I am not offending anyone when I say this, it is just my belief. I really believe God had me log in and find you guys because he knew I would need your support.

Thanks, Dee (aka buddy)

 

[DDD]

Glad to hear that you have your sister's support. That must be a huge relief. I've been there done that with Concerta and with seizure medications and know how frightening it is having others in charge of administration. Brain injury is unique and those who are outside the realm often don't quite get it. Still sending prayrs and hugs. DDD

 

[keista]

Is it normal for them to wait till mid-day to give medications that are normally taken in the morning? Sadly, In my experience, YES.

They follow their own protocol and that is that. I had a really hard time with medications and communicating with staff psychiatrist when DD1 was in for crisis. IOW parents NEVER got to talk to psychiatrist. Messages kept getting relayed back and forth via nursing staff. And the only thing I could do as a parent after psychiatrist left for the day was refuse authorization to give a particular medication to my child. And visitation was more stringent than at the county jail. I hate that place.

 

[Liahona]

When my grandma was in the hospital one of the family had to stay with her because the nurses and doctor just could not get her medications right. They were kind hearted and did try. By the time one shift got the medications straight it would be time for a shift change. And they were bound by the docs availability and rules and policies they had to follow.

I think you should still get paid even if he is in the hospital. Your worry and care level for him is still there it just might change forms a bit.

get some sleep while you can.

 

[Chaosuncontained]

I just saw this post. I am praying for you and your little guy. Wish I lived closer, you could live in the kids living room! Which is really the garage closed in but it's like a small apartment in there!

As you know from your vast experience--things work out. Maybe not exactly like we want it...but it all does work out.

((HUGS))

 

[Malika]

Funny you should say that, buddy. I was thinking about you today and about all that has happened to you since you started visiting the forum and felt that it was a very providential thing...
May your son come through this period okay and find greater stability. I do hope the right combination of medication is found for him. Hugs.