At what point is an adult declared incapable of self-care?

[gcvmom]

Too funny, Janet!

Talked to Mom again. They've got difficult child-Dad on cardiac watch now because his potassium is very low again (2.3 or 2.7... can't remember now, but it was below 3). Mom said he's supposed to take one of his diuretics every other day, but that he took it for three consecutive days last week and that perhaps that's the reason why his numbers are off. And yes, he uses a pill counter/box, but who knows why he screwed up his dosing schedule.

So there's a good chance he'll be admitted for a few days again until his potassium goes back up.

She just sounds so done with it all. Tired of fighting him on every little thing.

Apparently his edema has worsened in the last month or so because he went back to sleeping in his chair instead of in bed. Why? Because at the end of May, he fell out of bed twice while he was sleeping, and the second time he broke a rib. The pain from the fracture made him too uncomfortable to lie flat. So he slept in the chair. And that's made the edema worse. But he wouldn't believe her when she told him she thought that might be why. She had to give him this long drawn out explanation with numerous examples of people she knows who have similar problems after sitting for long periods of time. Then he finally believed her and has gone back to sleeping prone for the past week or so, and the edema has improved a tiny bit. But it's still pretty bad.

So there he sits in the ER with the cardiac monitor on him and they're also doing a venous ultrasound on his legs to check for clots...

And NO he does not have a will. Won't talk about it at all.

Guess he's going to live forever!

My poor mom....

 

[KTMom91]

Sending hugs and extra strength. Hope your mom is able to get some rest with your dad in the hospital. Or will she have to be there with him 24/7?

 

[mrscatinthehat]

I hope your mom got some sleep last night while your dad was at the hospital. Hope you did as well. Sending many hugs.

beth

 

[gcvmom]

Thanks Mary and Beth.

They ended up discharging Dad early yesterday evening.

They cultured an area on his lower leg that looked suspicious of MRSA and gave him an IV of what I suspect was vancomycin (Mom couldn't remember exactly but said it was an anitbiotic that was a "van" something). The edema has caused nasty sores over the past few years on his legs. They should have the results by Wednesday, Mom said. He is to follow up with his primary care today.

They also increased his potassium supplement and gave him some in his IV. I guess his numbers must have improved or they wouldn't have discharged him. Mom didn't know for sure... I think it's her way of trying to detach from him.

She said he's trying to continue sleeping in bed since his edema in the mornings is much better after he sleeps there (instead of his chair).

Thanks to all for the well wishes. I have a feeling that the next few years in Dad's life are going to be hard. Mom is just so tired of dealing with him and his difficult child-ness for many years now. The chronic illness part just magnifies everything.

 

[Hound dog]

I will suggest for your Mom what I suggested for my Mom who was caring for an abusive chronically ill/terminal husband..........

Get visiting nurses to come in and do his care. Medicaid pays for it. No sense in your Mom killing herself to care for a man who neither respects her or appreciates her. All it takes is a doctor order stating he needs the care.

My Mom wasn't wise enough to take this advice. My step dad's final days were a living nitemare for her.

Hugs

 

[DammitJanet]

Would your dad sleep with a pillow under his legs so they would be somewhat elevated? That would probably help the edema too. I have to do that because of my back but they said it was good for my legs when I had my clot. They make a wedge pillow but even a normal pillow would work.