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General Parenting
At What Point is it OK to Throw in the Towel with a difficult child ?
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 471564" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>You have done everything. You have fought this broken system like crazy. I do understand, so have I. Our girls both have these borderline tendencies that complicate things. Some of the books I have read have said that tough love is not the answer for Borderline (BPD) people. They are emotionally wearing and abusive (esp. to their family) and it's just hard not to go to the tough love place to protect yourself. You are enhausted and need a parent advocate. (I found mine through NAMI). Our only caring help has been that which we did through our insurance, privately, or church.The state system has been a total horrid situation.</p><p></p><p>For me its scary to just dump my kid because she is mentally ill (Borderline Personailty is one of the toughest to treat), she's a girl (imagine if she gets pregnant), and mine has been abused (the streets would just perpetuate this abuse cycle). However, the last few weeks I have surrendered-I have stopped micromanaging everything, I still give her nothing but the basic, but I don't question, i dont hide the phone, and I go some places without her. Interesting, she has mellowed and has not run for almost 3 weeks. We took away the school stress and let her work on GED-really did not want to do this. I have found that as she makes choices and the world gives the consequences, she seems to respond better than from me.</p><p></p><p>A year ago I was right where you are (ok maybe even 1 month ago again). We did give her to the state-we refused to pick her up after we dropped her at youth services. She ran and came home. We got her in state Residential Treatment Center (RTC), she had an ugly experience (may be a blessing in the long run). We again have tried and failed to get her in another Residential Treatment Center (RTC). </p><p></p><p>I think you get a break. I think you take care of you. You can be no good to anyone after all the fighting you have done. Call NAMI-it gave me peace for awhile. Do for you for awhile. I don't believe in detatchment-but I do believe in surrendering and caring for yourself. Focus on the rest of your family.</p><p>No matter what you do-it will be a good decision-I can tell from how hard you have fought. HUGs and blessings to you DF-true WARRIOR MOM!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 471564, member: 11001"] You have done everything. You have fought this broken system like crazy. I do understand, so have I. Our girls both have these borderline tendencies that complicate things. Some of the books I have read have said that tough love is not the answer for Borderline (BPD) people. They are emotionally wearing and abusive (esp. to their family) and it's just hard not to go to the tough love place to protect yourself. You are enhausted and need a parent advocate. (I found mine through NAMI). Our only caring help has been that which we did through our insurance, privately, or church.The state system has been a total horrid situation. For me its scary to just dump my kid because she is mentally ill (Borderline Personailty is one of the toughest to treat), she's a girl (imagine if she gets pregnant), and mine has been abused (the streets would just perpetuate this abuse cycle). However, the last few weeks I have surrendered-I have stopped micromanaging everything, I still give her nothing but the basic, but I don't question, i dont hide the phone, and I go some places without her. Interesting, she has mellowed and has not run for almost 3 weeks. We took away the school stress and let her work on GED-really did not want to do this. I have found that as she makes choices and the world gives the consequences, she seems to respond better than from me. A year ago I was right where you are (ok maybe even 1 month ago again). We did give her to the state-we refused to pick her up after we dropped her at youth services. She ran and came home. We got her in state Residential Treatment Center (RTC), she had an ugly experience (may be a blessing in the long run). We again have tried and failed to get her in another Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I think you get a break. I think you take care of you. You can be no good to anyone after all the fighting you have done. Call NAMI-it gave me peace for awhile. Do for you for awhile. I don't believe in detatchment-but I do believe in surrendering and caring for yourself. Focus on the rest of your family. No matter what you do-it will be a good decision-I can tell from how hard you have fought. HUGs and blessings to you DF-true WARRIOR MOM! [/QUOTE]
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At What Point is it OK to Throw in the Towel with a difficult child ?
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