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General Parenting
At What Point is it OK to Throw in the Towel with a difficult child ?
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<blockquote data-quote="Methuselah" data-source="post: 471682" data-attributes="member: 12725"><p>Thank you Daisy for this post and all the thoughtful replies. I have no hope left for my difficult children, especially difficult child 1. I have worked so hard to help them connect their behaviors to consequences, which they are determined to never do. I have worked so hard to help them develop empathy, but all they can do is fake it when they have to. That's when I knew it was all futile. I'm tired of the lies they tell about our family all so they appear an innocent victim to others. I'm tired of the way they con and manipulate people; I'm tired of how I am "just dealing with normal teenagers", because my difficult children are SO good at creating images of good, innocent kids who would never take a knife to get me in the middle of the night, spit in my drinks, steal, lie, cheat, drink and do drugs, be sexually active at school, will blame other people for their behavior and smirk when that person takes their punishment. They feel no remorse, no guilt and no shame. Never have; never will. I'm tired of it all. We provide the basics and will until they are 18. When they turn 18, they are on their own. We are doing this for our sons and for ourselves. I can't help people who think others are the ones with the problem, not them. Ever. They have never tried in any shape or form to change their behavior. It isn't that they are struggling to do the right thing, where they stumble, fall and need help getting back up. They have never been that way. Ever. I would kill for that, because that would give me hope...that inner desire to become a better person. They have always lacked that. They can fake that person, but only to get away with their bad behavior. I fear they are psychopaths in the making. :-( I worry not for them but those around them. I don't really have any guilt about that decision, because I know I have done all that I can to help someone who won't help themself. I hope you can find peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Methuselah, post: 471682, member: 12725"] Thank you Daisy for this post and all the thoughtful replies. I have no hope left for my difficult children, especially difficult child 1. I have worked so hard to help them connect their behaviors to consequences, which they are determined to never do. I have worked so hard to help them develop empathy, but all they can do is fake it when they have to. That's when I knew it was all futile. I'm tired of the lies they tell about our family all so they appear an innocent victim to others. I'm tired of the way they con and manipulate people; I'm tired of how I am "just dealing with normal teenagers", because my difficult children are SO good at creating images of good, innocent kids who would never take a knife to get me in the middle of the night, spit in my drinks, steal, lie, cheat, drink and do drugs, be sexually active at school, will blame other people for their behavior and smirk when that person takes their punishment. They feel no remorse, no guilt and no shame. Never have; never will. I'm tired of it all. We provide the basics and will until they are 18. When they turn 18, they are on their own. We are doing this for our sons and for ourselves. I can't help people who think others are the ones with the problem, not them. Ever. They have never tried in any shape or form to change their behavior. It isn't that they are struggling to do the right thing, where they stumble, fall and need help getting back up. They have never been that way. Ever. I would kill for that, because that would give me hope...that inner desire to become a better person. They have always lacked that. They can fake that person, but only to get away with their bad behavior. I fear they are psychopaths in the making. :-( I worry not for them but those around them. I don't really have any guilt about that decision, because I know I have done all that I can to help someone who won't help themself. I hope you can find peace. [/QUOTE]
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At What Point is it OK to Throw in the Towel with a difficult child ?
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