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General Parenting
At What Point is it OK to Throw in the Towel with a difficult child ?
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<blockquote data-quote="Methuselah" data-source="post: 471714" data-attributes="member: 12725"><p>Hi MidwestMom. As with all troubled kids on troubled kids boards, they have been diagnosed with a plethora of dxs, including Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). My difficult child 2 can emotionally connect somewhat, but difficult child 1 can't and doesn't care to learn how. :-( I have read all the books, as ever parent of a troubled kid does, and the only book that sang to me was Character Disturbances by Dr. George Simon. Every word he wrote about disturbed characters, I say regularly about my daughters. I'm sure they have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but also whatever throws them over to psychopathy. My oldest son also had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) like issues for the first two years he was part of our family. I worked diligently with him, and he is now a kid with some issues but has a great heart and character. He had that "thing" that allows people to develop and change. My girls lack it. They don't learn from bad choices, because they disconnect themselves from it and its affect on others. They never learn and grow. Ever. They just hone their skills in how not to get caught the next time. When difficult child 1 was expelled from school and thrown in jail school, she didn't learn to not drink on campus; she further learned if you appear to be the kind of person who wouldn't do immoral or illegal things, you can get away with immoral and illegal things. (She is extremely covert in her behavior and aggression.) When she speaks of jail school, she speaks of it in the same fond way she speaks of all the day camps she attended. There isn't any element of shame or remorse. Nothing but fond and funny memories. She is like that with everything. </p><p></p><p>Thank you for your thoughts. I'm sorry I babbled. No one understands. They see perfect, sweet, polite girls and can't believe what we say. I have a friend whose younger kids have been stolen from and blamed by my teenaged daughters, and the mom believes the lies my daughters told them not the truth I told and, in the case of the stealing, witnessed with my own eyes. My girls are that good at conning people with a sweet image. It's scary and exhausting. Thanks again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Methuselah, post: 471714, member: 12725"] Hi MidwestMom. As with all troubled kids on troubled kids boards, they have been diagnosed with a plethora of dxs, including Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). My difficult child 2 can emotionally connect somewhat, but difficult child 1 can't and doesn't care to learn how. :-( I have read all the books, as ever parent of a troubled kid does, and the only book that sang to me was Character Disturbances by Dr. George Simon. Every word he wrote about disturbed characters, I say regularly about my daughters. I'm sure they have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), but also whatever throws them over to psychopathy. My oldest son also had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) like issues for the first two years he was part of our family. I worked diligently with him, and he is now a kid with some issues but has a great heart and character. He had that "thing" that allows people to develop and change. My girls lack it. They don't learn from bad choices, because they disconnect themselves from it and its affect on others. They never learn and grow. Ever. They just hone their skills in how not to get caught the next time. When difficult child 1 was expelled from school and thrown in jail school, she didn't learn to not drink on campus; she further learned if you appear to be the kind of person who wouldn't do immoral or illegal things, you can get away with immoral and illegal things. (She is extremely covert in her behavior and aggression.) When she speaks of jail school, she speaks of it in the same fond way she speaks of all the day camps she attended. There isn't any element of shame or remorse. Nothing but fond and funny memories. She is like that with everything. Thank you for your thoughts. I'm sorry I babbled. No one understands. They see perfect, sweet, polite girls and can't believe what we say. I have a friend whose younger kids have been stolen from and blamed by my teenaged daughters, and the mom believes the lies my daughters told them not the truth I told and, in the case of the stealing, witnessed with my own eyes. My girls are that good at conning people with a sweet image. It's scary and exhausting. Thanks again. [/QUOTE]
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At What Point is it OK to Throw in the Towel with a difficult child ?
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