Where to now?
New Member
My 16 year old daughter has just come out of a month of residential treatment at a behavioral heath center which made no difference whatsoever to her attitude or behavior and the insurance won't pay for any more. She was doing 6 hours a day "partial hospitalization" therapy before and is doing it again. She is on three different medications and diagnoses range from depression/bipolar/borderline to "she's a teenager." She is constantly suicidal and cutting and when she gets 2 seconds on the internet she finds a strange man to hook up with and has them drive to my house where she meets them at the end of the drive. Tonight I caught her sneaking out (for the umpteenth time) and once again the loser (they are all different losers) did not even show up. She doesn't care about the danger she puts herself in but insists it's the only thing that makes her happy (Brief bad sex with an uncaring stranger). She has no friends. Frankly she's not very nice and only wants to talk about herself so this is not a big surprise. She has had no phone for ages and no access to internet but during a visit to her dad she found a library computer and made her plans (I told him not to leave her unattended, but I suppose that was too much work for him.) She has had a very privileged life and while her dad and I divorced when she was 10 it is not acrimonious and I always call and involve him when stuff happens. She was on the phone with him tonight...while standing in the dark at the end of the driveway while I waited.
She has been violent to me, put pictures of her private parts on the internet, has a very volatile temper, stolen from me and from stores...basically she's a nightmare. She turns 17 in July so unfortunately I cannot throw her out of my house as my gut tells me to since she is a minor. Despite all the help we have found for her the situation seems hopeless. She has been in therapy and on medications for nearly 2 years. She has always done well in school and been very ambitious but that is on the rocks after her residential stay.
I'd really like to just tell her to leave and close the door behind her. Yes she is in emotional pain but I have no idea how to help her and she's destroying my life. I feel like she's going to end up dead one way or another. She really needs to be locked up in a therapeutic setting but without the insurance paying it is unaffordable. (If anyone knows an affordable place please tell me. The ones I've looked into are 60K+++ a year). Besides, the place she was just at, despite being expensive and luxurious, seemed disorganized and chaotic and she managed to get into both sexual and violent incidents there. I suppose when you put a group of unstable teenagers together bad things happen.
What are my options? She is a minor and the next year and a half until she turns 18 seems like an eternity in hell. I would gladly turn her over to the state to be raised by professionals or just people with deeper resources of compassion than me but I don't believe that is a thing. On her third emergency visit to the mental hospital they just wanted to turn her around and send her home and I refused to come so they said they would call Child Services to my house. What would happen to me if I refuse to parent her any more? Her dad also wants to relinquish parental rights. Clearly we are unfit parents that we are even considering this, but I don't suppose they'd see it that way.
What are my options? Do I have any at all? Or do I have to put up with her drama and strangers coming to driveway/into my house while I'm out until the day she finally kills herself in my house?
At my wits end.....
She has been violent to me, put pictures of her private parts on the internet, has a very volatile temper, stolen from me and from stores...basically she's a nightmare. She turns 17 in July so unfortunately I cannot throw her out of my house as my gut tells me to since she is a minor. Despite all the help we have found for her the situation seems hopeless. She has been in therapy and on medications for nearly 2 years. She has always done well in school and been very ambitious but that is on the rocks after her residential stay.
I'd really like to just tell her to leave and close the door behind her. Yes she is in emotional pain but I have no idea how to help her and she's destroying my life. I feel like she's going to end up dead one way or another. She really needs to be locked up in a therapeutic setting but without the insurance paying it is unaffordable. (If anyone knows an affordable place please tell me. The ones I've looked into are 60K+++ a year). Besides, the place she was just at, despite being expensive and luxurious, seemed disorganized and chaotic and she managed to get into both sexual and violent incidents there. I suppose when you put a group of unstable teenagers together bad things happen.
What are my options? She is a minor and the next year and a half until she turns 18 seems like an eternity in hell. I would gladly turn her over to the state to be raised by professionals or just people with deeper resources of compassion than me but I don't believe that is a thing. On her third emergency visit to the mental hospital they just wanted to turn her around and send her home and I refused to come so they said they would call Child Services to my house. What would happen to me if I refuse to parent her any more? Her dad also wants to relinquish parental rights. Clearly we are unfit parents that we are even considering this, but I don't suppose they'd see it that way.
What are my options? Do I have any at all? Or do I have to put up with her drama and strangers coming to driveway/into my house while I'm out until the day she finally kills herself in my house?
At my wits end.....