At wits end!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Keri, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. Keri

    Keri New Member

    Hi, Im new to this forum and glad to find it. I'm a single mom to a 6 year old boy. At times, he is a joy to be around. Funny, smart and cute as a button. However, since birth I have really found him to be a handful, not the same as other children. As an infant, always, always crying, I couldn't put him down for second, he even non-stop cried when I held him. It was to the point were my neighbors were asking me what was wrong because they could hear the constant crying.

    Now at 6, he just argues with me about anything and everything and has TERRIBLE temper! He goes from being ok, to soooooo angry! He refuses to sleep alone, insists on sleeping with me. Has been throwing a an absolute screaming fit, because I have been making him go to sleep at 8:30 each night, thinking if he got more sleep, he might be a little easier to manage. He literally thrashes around in the bed from anywhere from 1/2 hour to hour and a 1/2 yelling that he doesn't want to go to sleep ("no deal he says, no deal he says, I want to go to bed at nine, and because I say so that is the way it's going to be")!

    He goes through phases at school and daycare and now he is back to being being an absolute tyrant! Last week, I had to leave work early and pick him up from the daycare for throwing a lego at another child and then pushing him off his seat (the child fell and hit his nose). Then my son proceeded to get into both the directors and teacher's faces and tell them they are not his mother, so he wasn't listening to them. Today, he had yet another write up (one of many) that he grabbed another child around the neck and left red marks, because the child was in his seat (he said). Then he proceeded to push the child off his chair.

    At home, if I tell him "no", he screams and cries unbelievabley loud for hours on end. He pounds on the walls (which is a problem because I live in an apartment), and just doesn't let up, he soooooooo persistant, and did I mention loud! One morning, he was crabby, so I told bed time would have to be earlier in the evening if he was going to wake up crabby. He pushed me so hard (and I wasn't expecting it at all), that I fell backwards into the bathtub! It's this way a lot! The minute I tell him something he doesn't want to hear, he hits or pushes me. I can talk to him until I'm blue in the face about keeping hands to himself, but her just tries to blame everyone else. Being that I live in an apartmen the constant yelling and banging is a real problem. I'm afraid a neighbor is going to call the police, because they might think something really bad is happening, when it's just him being difficult.

    I'm just at my wits end. His father isn't much of a help, only sees him 4 days a month. I expressed that I was going to make a counseling appointment because something just isn't right and my ex said that wasn't needed. I know it's needed and since I'm the primary care giver and custodial parent, I'm making the appointment. I'm now going through a work assistance program for a child counseling referrel.

    I love my son, but this is just so exhausting. At times in private, I just have to sit and cry to let out the stress of it, because the constant confrontation and loud yelling is so overwelming. In one of the other post, one of the mom's said it almost felt like being in an abusive relationship, but not being able to get out because you are the mother. That is exactly how I feel.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hell Keri and welcome. You're not alone anymore. :)

    I think you are wise to make that appointment. You may also want to start the process for a medical evaluation (rather than just therapy/behavior modification). Call your pediatrician for a referral to a child psychiatrist, or a developmental pediatrician. Often behavior modification won't work on kids that have a yet to be diagnosed condition. A few questions:

    *Does he have any health problems?
    *How is he doing academically?
    *Any history of mental health or neurological problems in the family tree?
    *Can he make and keep friends?
    *Any unusual traits such as obsessions or skills?
    *How is the quality of his sleep?
  3. JulienSam

    JulienSam New Member

    Keri --

    I'm right there with you about feeling like you're in an abusive relationship.
    My 5 yr old son & I are newish to this site as well, so I don't have much advice except to feel comfortable to come here & vent -- it's good to know that there are other parents out there that are experiencing the same things you are (see, you're not crazy!), and to get advice from the ones that have been there & done that already.


  4. Lulu

    Lulu New Member

    Hello and welcome! It is good that you've found us; we totally understand what you're going through. Like Julie, I'm pretty new here, too, and just getting started. Keep us posted.