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Parent Emeritus
At wit's end
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 542116" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Several of us have been in your shoes. One thing I can tell you is that these kids tend to land on their feet, regardless of our fears. They use the sympathy card of "my terrible parents kicked me out" to get people to help them, and they rarely end up sleeping on the street. Not never, but, rarely. I kicked my Oldest out at 19, and she couch surfed for awhile, slept in her car a couple times, but she was never "homeless" for long. She was pretty transient, but not homeless. </p><p></p><p>Think of it this way. She's not self-sufficient, because she's never had to be. She will never learn how, if she isn't forced to. I know first-hand how painful it is to go this route, and the worry and heartbreak that it puts you through. The hardest part is the beginning, I think. I not only worried about my daughter, I worried what people thought of me.. and what she was telling them. It was hard to let that go. If you can stick to your guns, eventually, she'll get it. She may stay ticked off for awhile, and she may not live the way you'd prefer she live, or the way you dreamed she'd live as an adult, but she'll be responsible for herself, as she should be at this age. Acceptance of that on your part, can be really tough. Giving up the dream of that "normal" transition of a child turning 18, going to college, getting an apartment and roommate, getting a job, is not easy. It's painful. </p><p></p><p>Still, you deserve peace, and to live YOUR life now. You've done your job. </p><p></p><p>I'd suggest getting some support for yourself during this time, by finding a therapist or support group. We're here to listen and give support as well.</p><p></p><p>Hugs. We get it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 542116, member: 1157"] Several of us have been in your shoes. One thing I can tell you is that these kids tend to land on their feet, regardless of our fears. They use the sympathy card of "my terrible parents kicked me out" to get people to help them, and they rarely end up sleeping on the street. Not never, but, rarely. I kicked my Oldest out at 19, and she couch surfed for awhile, slept in her car a couple times, but she was never "homeless" for long. She was pretty transient, but not homeless. Think of it this way. She's not self-sufficient, because she's never had to be. She will never learn how, if she isn't forced to. I know first-hand how painful it is to go this route, and the worry and heartbreak that it puts you through. The hardest part is the beginning, I think. I not only worried about my daughter, I worried what people thought of me.. and what she was telling them. It was hard to let that go. If you can stick to your guns, eventually, she'll get it. She may stay ticked off for awhile, and she may not live the way you'd prefer she live, or the way you dreamed she'd live as an adult, but she'll be responsible for herself, as she should be at this age. Acceptance of that on your part, can be really tough. Giving up the dream of that "normal" transition of a child turning 18, going to college, getting an apartment and roommate, getting a job, is not easy. It's painful. Still, you deserve peace, and to live YOUR life now. You've done your job. I'd suggest getting some support for yourself during this time, by finding a therapist or support group. We're here to listen and give support as well. Hugs. We get it. [/QUOTE]
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