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Substance Abuse
At wits end
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<blockquote data-quote="Hopeful parent" data-source="post: 758653" data-attributes="member: 21585"><p>Well I think it has been about 10 days since my son last rang me with the above abuse. I have been feeling very depressed and upset, but relived he has not rang. I will pack up his paper work and send it to him. I will not put in any notes. I am just going to cut the ties with him and leave it at that. I feel kind of relieved that I have decided to do this. He will be 40 next birthday and we will not be with him to celebrate his birthday. I have made the right decision. This last two months has caused me to have a kind of nervous breakdown. I have always been strong through the twenty years of my sons addiction but this is the worse I have ever felt, it is like I am grieving and has really taken a toll on me. But it is something I need to do. He was a beautiful child and young adult, mild mannered, quick witted, had the gift of the gab like his dad, smart, good looking boy, and very likeable. He is not that boy anymore. I have had time to think about what is going on and it is that my son has addictions and mental health problems and he is living with a woman who has a narcissist personality and addictions. My experience with her has shown me she has no morals or empathy for anyone. I believe she could talk my son into anything. When he is upset with her, he tells me what is actually going on and the things that she does. And her mother who I know has also been through a lot with her daughter is a major enabler, and won't admit that the way they are living is Not Okay. They are not Okay and the way they live is Not Okay. But there is nothing I can do about it while he chooses to stay in the situation that he is in. So I need to walk away. I really can't take anymore from him. On a nicer note my daughter and grandchildren put on a lovely luncheon for my husband today. My problem sons other two little boys and ex wife rang to wish poppy happy Father's Day and my other son who had taken his two little ones camping sent his father a text for Father's Day. So we are very lucky to have loving family and grandchildren around us and that is who I will be giving my time to now. Sorry for rambling. Just helps to put my decisions into writing. I don't have access to counsellors where I live and it helps to be able to express my feelings and thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hopeful parent, post: 758653, member: 21585"] Well I think it has been about 10 days since my son last rang me with the above abuse. I have been feeling very depressed and upset, but relived he has not rang. I will pack up his paper work and send it to him. I will not put in any notes. I am just going to cut the ties with him and leave it at that. I feel kind of relieved that I have decided to do this. He will be 40 next birthday and we will not be with him to celebrate his birthday. I have made the right decision. This last two months has caused me to have a kind of nervous breakdown. I have always been strong through the twenty years of my sons addiction but this is the worse I have ever felt, it is like I am grieving and has really taken a toll on me. But it is something I need to do. He was a beautiful child and young adult, mild mannered, quick witted, had the gift of the gab like his dad, smart, good looking boy, and very likeable. He is not that boy anymore. I have had time to think about what is going on and it is that my son has addictions and mental health problems and he is living with a woman who has a narcissist personality and addictions. My experience with her has shown me she has no morals or empathy for anyone. I believe she could talk my son into anything. When he is upset with her, he tells me what is actually going on and the things that she does. And her mother who I know has also been through a lot with her daughter is a major enabler, and won't admit that the way they are living is Not Okay. They are not Okay and the way they live is Not Okay. But there is nothing I can do about it while he chooses to stay in the situation that he is in. So I need to walk away. I really can't take anymore from him. On a nicer note my daughter and grandchildren put on a lovely luncheon for my husband today. My problem sons other two little boys and ex wife rang to wish poppy happy Father's Day and my other son who had taken his two little ones camping sent his father a text for Father's Day. So we are very lucky to have loving family and grandchildren around us and that is who I will be giving my time to now. Sorry for rambling. Just helps to put my decisions into writing. I don't have access to counsellors where I live and it helps to be able to express my feelings and thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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