Attention Seeking.....Cutting

[pigless]

Hi, Masta. It's good to hear an update on your difficult child even if it isn't the best news. She is working, right? How long has she worked at her current job? Considering her past behaviors, I think that's a big step.

Personally, I put cutting in the same category with other self-harming behaviors like drinking alcohol excessively, taking drugs and taking physical risks. Some young people are able to skip these activities but most try at least one of them.

She's 18; I'd let her handle the cutting issue. I'm thinking that the more you protest, the more she will need to cut. This is a personal outlet for her and she will find a way to let go of it when she is ready.

 

[WNC Gal]

My daughter is a "recovering" cutter - she had only been doing it for about 3 months but was ramping up the frequency and severity so we addressed it by sending her to a special 30 day program in Aurora, IL called Safe Alternatives which heavily uses DBT and lots of group therapy and impulse control logs. The founders of the program, Karen Conterio and Wendy Lader, have written a wonderful book called "Bodily Harm - the Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers" which lays out a plan for recovery including in depth writing assignments which explore the impulses behind the SI and utilizes the impulse control logs to help identify and control those impulses. Even if one did not attend the actual program, the recovery plan laid out in the book could be utilized by one's own therapist.

The program was expensive (15 days inpatient and 15 days outpatient) - insurance only covered a small part - but I feel it was well worth it. The program includes both teens and adults - I think it frightened the socks off of my daughter who was just beginning to SI to see women who have been doing this for decades and the havoc it brought into their lives.

Since the program, she has only self-injured twice with tiny scratches at moments of extreme stress (with 911 on the way while suicidal) - so we can move on to her other issues now.

I still don't understand the dynamic of SI in secret vs. telling people and "showing off" one's scars. Does that make it a different behavior? She does not have abuse or trauma in her background - so I believe it was a coping mechanism for her severe mood swings.

 

[Hound dog]

Masta

(((hugs)))

N cut and burned, though mostly superficial. Some of her self harming was pretty deep and resulted in nasty scarring. She kept it hidden for years. It became much worse when she began dating.

The therapy mentioned is a very good idea if you can find it where you are. It's not offered anywhere near us. We tried to find creaative ways for N to vent her feelings to redirect away from the urge to cut/burn. She was allowed to draw anything she wanted on herself with markers. This transitioned into henna tattoos. As medications helped her stabilize, we began noticing the cutting becoming less and less.

I never made a big deal of the cutting/burning to N. If I'd notice a new spot I'd have her clean it well. The only way I knew was I did periodic "spot" checks. After a while I learned to use her cutting as a gauge to her stability. N hasn't cut in a year.

It sounds to me like difficult child may have alot of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) issues complicating the whole thing.

Welcome back.

Hugs