Attitude adjustment day....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Oct 15, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I decided after Saturday's antics from kt & husband's very reactive response to kt's antics that my family needed an attitude adjustment day.

    I'm being taken for granted. For the most part, this doesn't get to me. However, attitudes pushed me over the edge.

    No laundry was completed yesterday - nope after kt's very deliberate, very sassy mouth I had no interest in helping her with her laundry. She scrounged out some clean clothes today - good for her.

    husband joined right in with this attitude. He was miffed (to put it lightly) with kt's antics/behaviors/choices on Saturday. Of course, rather than deal with kt, I was his verbal punching bag. :rolleyes: Not a good idea on husband's part.

    The straw that broke the camel's back was husband telling me that adding a certain ingredient to a very tasty casserole made it nasty. I took the time to make up a menu, bring in the groceries & cook this dinner & then I'm told that one ingredient in the dish made the whole thing taste nasty. I quietly thanked husband for his input.

    I went on strike yesterday. I had planned a wonderful roast pork dinner with acorn squash & roasted veggies. I was going to bake a caramel apple pie for dessert (a treat for us).

    However, I found that I didn't care to do any of this; in fact, the attitudes & anger from the previous day exhausted me. I spent the day in my jammies, drank decaf coffee while reading & dozed on & off.

    This family is going to learn they cannot mess with me. It's amazing how attitudes change; how the love & caring that surrounds you when they think you're going to die suddenly slips away to entitlement & ungratefulness when you don't. :crazy2: In their minds recovery is a walk in the park - NOT!

    It's going to be another sad day if things don't turn around. I can go days with-o a decent dinner. In fact, somebody mentioned a book about dealing with chronic illness called Cereal for Dinner: Strategies, Shortcuts, and Sanity for Moms Battling Illness - believe I'll pick it up & live by the title. Cereal for dinner is fine with me.

    Thanks for letting me vent. I'm over my mad - just watching the fallout here. It's not pretty to see husband humbled - he needed it though.
     
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :grrr:

    Good for you for sticking up for yourself!

    :nonono: to husband - don't mess with Linda!!
     
  3. Penta

    Penta New Member

    I'm glad you are taking care of yourself...you are very correct that when the "emergency" is over, everyone thinks the patient must pull herself up by her boot straps and "get over it". Not so...You need time to recover in a peaceful harmonious family environment.

    Enjoy your jammie days! I applaud you.
     
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    :bravo: :smile: :reading: :bravo:


    You are very right. Enjoy the day off.
     
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Linda, I like it! Go for it!
    I love that book title, too.
    Hey, popcorn makes a nice dinner, in case you want a menu change.
     
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    On bad days I have talked the family through getting a meal, talking from bed. I remember one day long ago when easy child & difficult child 1 were cooking a curry, and burnt the curry paste. They were about to throw it away and start again but I made them continue - curry paste tastes even better when it's been burnt! As long as it's not carbonised, of course.

    I have found that the family gets on better if everybody is either fed or has access to food, but we do have emergency standbys. In our case, it's instant noodles. Plus I have small supplies in the freezer, of basic ingredients for wraps, burritos, rice paper rolls etc. If they're desperate they can go to the local shop and buy some chicken fillet and make a stir-fry or a curry.

    We've used these occasions as a teaching tool - "I'm too tired/ill/fed up to cook dinner tonight, but I'll talk you through cooking it." The end result is, now we can go away for a few days and leave the (now adult, allegedly) middle kids at home and know they can feed themselves.

    It's an ill wind...

    If you're always there and always available to fix things, they never learn to manage without you.

    So you can argue - a strike is for THEIR benefit!

    Marg
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You GO Girl!!!!

    Sooner or later they will learn. Just make sure the bad mood stays with THEM and is not catching.

    I am writing the book title down to order, it sounds like one we can use also.

    Susie
     
  8. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    Amen! My husband and I have a wonderful marriage but I swear he snuck (sp?) in "blame her for everything" in the marriage vows. UGH!! I love your idea of going on strike, hmmmmm.....
     
  9. :bravo: Good for you!

    I wish I was able to do like you and just keep the jammies on for a day. I can't bring myself to do it. I took an hour nap for the first time the other day...and I almost felt guilty about it. Okay...I did feel guilty about it. Our DS pitched a royal hissy fit right before walking out the door for school because his little brother stomped on his finger. He threw things, yelled, pulled at his own shirt, screamed at me--it was truly a sight. I'm sure you all know what the scene looked like. I was exhausted by the time I finally returned home. I wish that I could let it go and just grow that thick skin.

    For the most part, my husband is supportive. His Bi-Polar is sometimes running interference, though. If he's in his own personal war at the moment, it is difficult for him to use patience.

    kissinggardentoscrub

    PS--I need to find that book you wrote of. :wink:
     
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good for you Linda!! I'm sure they will be adjusting their attitudes soon.

    I hope you enjoyed your day on strike. :bath:
     
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Thank you ladies..... :thumbsup: Couldn't have a better support system in place. :bravo:

    Attitudes have changed around here. kt is, for the most part, compliant & doing her best at helping. husband has dropped his attitude & is back to "normal". :crazy2: :smile:

    I hope I don't have to pull this again anytime soon. While I had a restful day physically, emotionally I don't like this type of thing.
     
  12. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Linda,

    Way To Go!!! :bravo: :bravo: :bravo: As I always say, you handle difficult situations so well!!! I think an "Attitude Adjustment Day" is just what they needed!!! In fact, I think I'm going to start using this method in my household as well!!!

    I'm beginning to think that "Attitude Adjustment Day" should become a national holiday!!! :rofl: WFEN
     
  13. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    I know how you feel. Hopefully it sank in with both of them.

    steph
     
  14. blb

    blb New Member

    You know, I've always enjoyed breakfast options for dinner :devil: :rofl:

    You know, I hear they have ALL kinds of microwave meals out there in the frozen food aisle :smile: husband and KT keep it up, their taste buds will suffer big!

    Sorry they lost their minds this weekend it sounds like. Glad you held onto yours though :thumbsup:
     
  15. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    LOL....thank you so much for the giggle this evening, I needed it! Not so happy you had to go on "strike"....but, I think you are on to something. I love it! :smile: (of course...I have no place to hide, I would have to leave!)
     
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