Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Authenticity
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="hopeandjoy66" data-source="post: 657845" data-attributes="member: 18181"><p>I think I have had opinions likes and dislikes at times but they were squelched, mocked or negated, which was very hurtful so you stuffed them back inside so you didn't have to feel the hurt it left you with. That was the easiest thing to do as I was a very obedient child and adult when it came to my mom Over time, I think you stop saying anything only what was not the "acceptable" ideas, thoughts or opinions.</p><p>Quite a few years back I started to recognize these things about her and myself. I started standing up for myself, expressing myself even if it meant disagreeing. She became very nasty. And one day it was like a light bulb went on, "why do I put up with this?" I didn't want the daily phone calls of how I wasn't living my life correctly. (One saving grace was I lived 2000 miles away. ) Although I was getting stronger, at times I weakened . It would became that child mother thing again. I did see this so I tried setting boundaries with her. You can call me at this time on certain days of the week, but she would not heed my requests. When I did talk to her she spewed poison . I asked her not to say these things but she continued.</p><p>After a horrible visit to my home, she returned home I realized I couldn't live with this in my life any longer. It was making me mentally sick. I decided to write her a letter that said we could no longer communicate back in forth any longer as our relationship was making mentally not well. I told her that I loved her and that I wish it could be different. She never once asked if we could work things out. It was her way or no way. That was nearly 5 years ago. I do love her, but I don't like her.</p><p>I guess what I am saying is this.....</p><p> I did recognize that I was a different person than her, but it was only in the last year that I started to ask, but who am I? Echollette, COM, thank you for getting it, all of you have been helpful. I guess this process of learning about ourselves is slow. One good thing about all of this it has helped me recognize some of the characteristics in myself that were not very nice. It still stumps me. How do I move forward with this? It has good to find out I am not totally crazy.</p><p><strong><em></em></strong></p><p><strong><em></em></strong></p><p><strong><em>"I have changed a great deal over the past ten years and today I like myself a lot better. I am at peace inside myself. I can forgive myself when I make mistakes. I don't have to be right all the time like I used to. I can say I'm sorry. I don't beat myself up as much. I can say no kindly. I work hard to focus on myself I a healthy way and just accept what is. I still have a long way to go and I will have to work on this the rest of my life. But I do believe that this is the healthiest way to live and I am very grateful to have had to do this hard work."</em></strong></p><p><strong><em></em></strong></p><p>Some of these things I can say about myself also but it's still a work in progress. I picked up a book that was also recommended, "Simple Abundance" again it was about understanding, seeing and knowing your inner self. This is what brought this on this morning. Again, I just wasn't sure.<strong><em> lol</em></strong></p><p><strong><em></em></strong></p><p>One other thought..... do you think some of this comes with age? How did I wake up one day and know I wanted to be me?</p><p></p><p>Read more: <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/authenticity.60392/#ixzz3bMPssb40" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/authenticity.60392/#ixzz3bMPssb40</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hopeandjoy66, post: 657845, member: 18181"] I think I have had opinions likes and dislikes at times but they were squelched, mocked or negated, which was very hurtful so you stuffed them back inside so you didn't have to feel the hurt it left you with. That was the easiest thing to do as I was a very obedient child and adult when it came to my mom Over time, I think you stop saying anything only what was not the "acceptable" ideas, thoughts or opinions. Quite a few years back I started to recognize these things about her and myself. I started standing up for myself, expressing myself even if it meant disagreeing. She became very nasty. And one day it was like a light bulb went on, "why do I put up with this?" I didn't want the daily phone calls of how I wasn't living my life correctly. (One saving grace was I lived 2000 miles away. ) Although I was getting stronger, at times I weakened . It would became that child mother thing again. I did see this so I tried setting boundaries with her. You can call me at this time on certain days of the week, but she would not heed my requests. When I did talk to her she spewed poison . I asked her not to say these things but she continued. After a horrible visit to my home, she returned home I realized I couldn't live with this in my life any longer. It was making me mentally sick. I decided to write her a letter that said we could no longer communicate back in forth any longer as our relationship was making mentally not well. I told her that I loved her and that I wish it could be different. She never once asked if we could work things out. It was her way or no way. That was nearly 5 years ago. I do love her, but I don't like her. I guess what I am saying is this..... I did recognize that I was a different person than her, but it was only in the last year that I started to ask, but who am I? Echollette, COM, thank you for getting it, all of you have been helpful. I guess this process of learning about ourselves is slow. One good thing about all of this it has helped me recognize some of the characteristics in myself that were not very nice. It still stumps me. How do I move forward with this? It has good to find out I am not totally crazy. [B][I] "I have changed a great deal over the past ten years and today I like myself a lot better. I am at peace inside myself. I can forgive myself when I make mistakes. I don't have to be right all the time like I used to. I can say I'm sorry. I don't beat myself up as much. I can say no kindly. I work hard to focus on myself I a healthy way and just accept what is. I still have a long way to go and I will have to work on this the rest of my life. But I do believe that this is the healthiest way to live and I am very grateful to have had to do this hard work." [/I][/B] Some of these things I can say about myself also but it's still a work in progress.[B][I] [/I][/B]I picked up a book that was also recommended, "Simple Abundance" again it was about understanding, seeing and knowing your inner self. This is what brought this on this morning. Again, I just wasn't sure.[B][I] lol [/I][/B] One other thought..... do you think some of this comes with age? How did I wake up one day and know I wanted to be me?[B][I][/I][/B] Read more: [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/authenticity.60392/#ixzz3bMPssb40[/URL] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Authenticity
Top